Yet Another Change
by MissAdds
Summary: Just when Detective Olivia Benson thought life was settling down and going back to normal, another change is thrown into the mix. How will she react and deal with it?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

So many things had changed in the last 2 years of Detective Olivia Benson's life. Nothing was the same, some changes for the better, while others were a little harder to deal with.

To begin with Elliot had turned in his papers and left SVU all together. After 12 years of partnership, this one hit Olivia hard. 12 years of rapes, murders, crime after crime, endless cups of coffee, stake-outs, and catching countless perps, they would no longer be Stabler and Benson. She was just Benson.

Although it took a while to adjust, eventually Olivia got used to having a new partner. Nick Amaro was a good guy, a good cop. He wasn't quite Elliot, but he did his job and he had her back, there wasn't much else she could ask for. Amanda Rollins, a cop from Georgia, had also joined the squad. She had been partnered with Fin. As far as the group was concerned they all worked quite well together and they got the job done.

Adding to the changes to the team, Sergeant John Munch had decided that after years of sex crimes, assaults, and missing children, it was time to hang up his badge. His decision had affected Olivia more than she thought it would. Although she had never been partnered with Munch, he had been there from day one. He was the only person left on the team that had been with Olivia all 14 years and she truly missed him. Although they stayed in contact, it wasn't quite the same as seeing him every day in the squad room.

The biggest change, though, had been Olivia's own assault. William Lewis was a sadistic, evil man. After arresting him for multiple rapes, he was let out on bail and as a way to get revenge he went after Olivia. For 4 days, Lewis tortured and beat Olivia, holding her hostage. Finally, though, she managed to get the upper hand and escape the situation. And although she had gotten out of the situation, the effects were ever-lasting. The images would replay in her head, haunting her like a never-ending nightmare. Nothing was the same. For a long time no one saw the Liv they had known for years. She didn't have the same spunk, the same drive. But slowly it was coming back, the light in her eyes, the never-ending need to help victims, and her pure compassion. The therapy sessions with Dr. Lindstrom were helping a lot, but it would take a long time before the flashbacks would stop and for Olivia to fully gain back control of her life.

Through all of this, Olivia felt incredibly blessed to finally have a boyfriend, a support system. Brian Cassidy had been in SVU when Olivia first started, he had eventually transferred out by the end of her first year, but the two had re-entered each other's lives during a case. Liv had never thought she would find someone to settle down with. But here they were living in a lovely new apartment, the two of them together. They had discussed marriage a little bit but neither were in any big hurry. The two had, though, talked about children. Both of them wanted kids, Brian as nearly as much as Liv. They were very seriously considering adoption. They had even taken the time to research it and read all the brochures the adoption agency had to offer. Olivia, who had been turned down before, figured that now, because there were two of them with stable jobs and incomes, they could finally start a family.

But it was looking like adoption wasn't really going to be necessary. Because just when she thought there couldn't be anymore twists, just when she thought everything was settling down and going, some-what, back to normal, life threw another curve ball at the detective. And this one, this one was something no one ever expected. This wasn't even something anybody could have imagined.

All of the symptoms had been there, but Olivia was indenial. She, in all honesty, hadn't wanted to face the reality in this situation. She didn't want to deal with this right now. At her age, at this point in her life. She was working on her sergeant's exam, she was still working case after case, still gradually working through her attack, Brian and her were still really getting settled into living together. This was not what she needed on top of everything. But now, there was nothing she could do about it.

As Olivia sat in the master bathroom of the apartment, she almost couldn't believe her eyes, almost didn't want to believe her eyes. But she couldn't deny the plastic stick in her hand or the other two sitting on the sink counter, each one with a plus sign, indicating a positive result. The detective couldn't deny the obvious. She, Olivia Benson, was pregnant.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The last two weeks had been filled with constant nausea and almost every morning had started with her head in the toilet. Liv had thought she was hiding it pretty well, that was until Brian had walked in on her losing the previous night's dinner. He had been genuinely concerned, saying he had noticed this was a recurrence. She had just brushed him off, saying it must be stress or some kind of bug and told him not to worry. Even though she was beginning to worry like crazy.

It wasn't like this was completely impossible, but Olivia just never imagined that this would ever be possible for herself.

She had chosen to be a cop, a detective, a job that was really not conducive to raising a family. And although a family was something she always wanted, Olivia had come to terms with the fact that she may never be married or be a parent. Yet here she was in a committed relationship and expecting. Expecting a baby, a real, little human that would be their responsibility for the next 18 years. This child would be relying on her and she really wasn't sure she was ready for that, not after everything that had happened.

Olivia had been sitting in the bathroom staring at the positive tests, thinking and worrying about how this was going to play out for nearly 45 minutes. She had come to the point of tears. It was all so overwhelming.

Her thoughts, however, were interrupted by a soft knock on the bathroom door. "Liv, is everything okay?" It was Brian.

It hadn't even crossed her mind that she would have to tell him. Obviously he would have to know and obviously he needed to know, she just wasn't sure how to tell him. Or how he would react. Yes, they had discussed adoption, but that was discussion and research, they both knew that when and if they committed to adoption it would take months before anything came of it and there was a chance that nothing would ever come if it. But now there was for sure only 9 months of time and something was definitely coming.

"Liv, really, is everything okay? You've been in there for nearly an hour" Brian was still standing outside the bathroom waiting for a reply.

Her first thought was to hide the tests, but all hiding them would do is prolong telling him and he needed to know.

Olivia got up from her spot on the edge of the bathtub. She took a quick look in the mirror and rubbed off some of the make-up that had ran with her tears. She picked up all three tests and opened the door, meeting Brian in the doorway.

"Everything, okay?" Brian could tell that she had been crying, her make-up a mess and her eyes red.

"Umm…" Olivia couldn't get the words out of her mouth.

She didn't need to. Before she could say anything else, Brian looked down noticing the tests in her hands. At first he was confused, but then he realized what they were.

"Liv, those aren't… Are they?" His face was a mix of emotions, worry, disbelief.

"Umm, yeah they are." Olivia could feel the tears welling up once again.

"Wow… What's the… I mean are they…" Brian couldn't even complete his sentence he was so shocked.

"They're positive" Olivia's voice broke, the tears now rolling down her cheeks, almost uncontrollably.

"So… We're… We're having a baby?" He spoke slowly, almost not believing the words coming out of his own mouth.

"Yeah, we are." Liv said quietly, looking into Brian's eyes, hoping for a reaction.

His expression changed suddenly. A smile growing across his face. "A baby. This is great!" He pulled his girlfriend into a hug.

"Really?" Liv looked up at him.

"Of course." Brian said before kissing her.

Olivia was really surprised by Brian's reaction. But at least one of them was happy about the news. It made Live feel a little bit better about the result, maybe this wouldn't be as terrifying as she thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The next few days were sort of blur for Olivia. There weren't any new cases at work, she was really just sitting around the squad room doing paper work and studying for her sergeants exam. Although maybe it was a good thing, her mind was obviously otherwise occupied and she wasn't sure that she could give her full attention to a case right now.

The only thing the detective could think about was this baby. She really was still shocked, and worried, and torn about how she really felt. Olivia just wasn't sure that this was the best possible thing right now. Brian on the other hand, was only growing with excitement. He couldn't and wouldn't stop talking about it. And as hard as she tried, no matter what he said, she really just couldn't muster up quite the same enthusiasm as her boyfriend.

Olivia's Tuesday had been uneventful thus far and from what she could tell that was going to change anytime soon. It was fine though, Tuesday was her usual day for her sessions with Dr. Lindstrom.

Although, Olivia felt it was some-what a sign of weakness to have to see a therapist, she knew it was necessary. The effects of her attack really had greatly affected her and these sessions were one of the few things that were really helping her to move on.

Olivia got out of the precinct at around 5:00 and made it to her appointment by 5:30. Dr. Lindstrom was already waiting for her, ready to listen and help with whatever she needed this week.

"Hello, Olivia" Dr. Lindstrom kindly greeted her with a friendly grin.

Liv gave him a half smile back, following him into his office and taking a seat across from him in the plushy white chair.

"How have you been this week?" The doctor wasted no time starting their session.

"Its been… It's been a tough one. It's not been quite the best week." Olivia answered trying to avoid making eye contact.

"Would you care to elaborate on that?" Dr. Lindstrom was beginning to sense the tension Olivia was feeling. She was usually so good about making eye contact and opening up.

"Well it started out fine, it was going great actually. I hadn't had any flashbacks or any nightmares for nearly 4 days."

"So what changed that?" The therapist was genuinely interested as to what had soured her week.

"Umm… A couple days ago, I found out I was pregnant." Olivia could feel the tears forming. She never cried and here she was crying for what felt like the 100th time in the last 2 days.

"That's wonderful Olivia." The doctor smiled at the detective. When he got nothing in return, he continued. "But I'm getting the impression you don't think its so wonderful."

"It's not that a baby isn't a wonderful thing, because it is. I just don't know if it's a wonderful thing for me right now. I mean you know everything that has happened. I just don't know that I'm stable enough to handle a baby. I'm not sure I should be bringing a child into this situation."

"Is it the child you are really scared for or yourself?" Dr. Lindstrom was aware of what she was really worried about.

"Both."

The doctor just nodded in response, urging Olivia to continue.

"I know I've always a family. But I had just figured that wasn't going to happen and I had accepted that. This is just so late in life to be having my first child; there are so many risks involved to begin with, but adding my age on top of it makes it incredibly high risk. And Brian is thrilled, which is great, but he just doesn't seem to be thinking about how much everything will be changing and how difficult this will be. I don't want him not to be excited, but I wish he would leave la-la land and join me in reality."

"Have you considered that maybe Brian is using his excitement as a way to hide his fear?"

"I hadn't thought of it that way…" Olivia begin to feel a little guilty for jumping to conclusions. In all honesty, she had kept her fears to herself, instead of sharing them with Brian. Maybe if she had been a little more open, he would of been more open with her in return.

"You both are very smart and always aware of the situations. It's your police training. But maybe Brian is just trying to be the rock in this situation. Maybe he feels the need to be the strong one so he can be there for you, so you don't feel alone, so you dont have to take everything on by yourself."

Everything Dr. Lindstrom was suggesting made so much sense. Brian was a realist, he couldn't have been completely clueless about everything that came along with having a baby. He probably deserved more credit than she was giving him.

The two finished their session discussing other things, including Lewis and everything that came along with him.

Olivia left feeling a little bit better. She certainly was not feeling completely okay about bringing this child into the world, but she certainly felt a lot less apprehensive than she had just hours before. If she had Dr. Lindstrom to talk to and Brian to support she might be able to get through this.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

A little less than a week later was Olivia's first doctor's appointment. She had obviously already seen her regular doctor to confirm her pregnancy, but this would be the first time she would see her OB/GYN.

Of course, Olivia was nervous. You would never know it from her usual "cool as a cucumber" exterior, but on the inside she was a wreck.

She was figuring this appointment would just add to her already mounting stress. Her expectations were to hear every statistic on the risks and possible problems that came along with later age pregnancy. She didn't want to have to hear that she had a higher risk of miscarrying or that she may have to go on maternity leave much sooner than she would like or that she may even have to be on bed rest at some point. Liv knew that all of it was a possibility, but she was trying to forget about it, not worry about it unless the issue came up. But to have to listen to a doctor tell her these things would just make the facts much more real and would only cause her to worry more than she already was, if that was possible.

The morning of her appointment, Olivia suffered from what was probably the worst morning sickness she had yet. She had woken up at three, only to be sick for a solid hour. She could barely make it from the bathroom back to her bedroom because the nausea and dizziness was so severe. But Olivia did finally make it back to bed and fell back asleep. The little rest she did get was short lived as she was awoken again at six. This time Brian joined her, rubbing her back and comforting while she lost what was left in her stomach.

When she finally felt well enough, Olivia took a shower and got ready for the day. Meanwhile Brian fixed himself some breakfast.

Olivia made her way into the kitchen when she was finished getting ready. Brian had made eggs and bacon for himself and fixed a plate for Liv, also. But the smell was enough to make her sick again, so she opted for just a cup of coffee for breakfast. She finished her cup and put all the dishes in the dishwasher while Brian showered and got ready.

It was 8:30 by the time both of them were all ready and had gotten in the car, ready to leave. Olivia's appointment was at 9:00. She had told Cragen she had an extra session with Dr. Lindstrom this week, instead of explaining that she had a doctor's appointment. She wasn't ready to tell him or anyone in the squad yet and doctor's appointment would make them question what was going on.

The pair got to the doctor's office by 8:45. The waiting room was basically empty except for one other couple. They sat for about 10 minutes while Liv filled out the necessary paperwork and Brian flipped through a magazine to keep himself occupied.

Not long after Olivia finished her paperwork, a nurse in blue scrubs came out of the office door. "Olivia Benson?"

The two got out of their seats and followed the nurse back to a very white and sterile exam room that had two seats an exam table and computer desk. The nurse took Liv's blood pressure, which was a bit on the high side, checked her pulse, and reviewed all the info Olivia had put on her paperwork to make sure everything was correct.

The nurse got up from her seat at the computer. "The doctor will be with you soon." The nurse gave them a small smile and left the room

It felt like ages, it was really only 10 minutes, before the doctor came in.

The doctor was dressed in a floral blouse, black skirt, conservative heels and a white lab coat. "Good morning, I'm Dr. Matthews." She shook Olivia and Brian's hands.

"If I could have you hop up the table please Olivia." The doctor patted the table, inviting Liv to sit there.

"Okay, so it looks like we already know you're for sure pregnant. Do you know how far along you are?"

"I have a few ideas, but I'm not totally sure" Olivia answered.

"Alright, then we'll start with an Ultrasound to determine that and then we'll see if we can't find a heartbeat" Dr. Matthews opened a cupboard grabbed a bottle and moved around to the other side of the table, moving the screen for the ultrasound so both Olivia and Brian could see it.

"Okay, let's roll up that shirt, please." Olivia pulled her shirt up just enough to expose her non-existent bump. "For warning, this is going to be a little cold."

The doctor turned on the screen and squeezed a little bit of the blue gel on Liv's stomach. She moved the ultrasound wand around, looking for what resembled a fetus.

"There we go!" Dr. Matthews pointed to what was nothing more than a black blob. It was sort of shaped like a peanut. "It looks to me like you're about 9 weeks."

It may have been just a blob, but it was the most beautiful blob Olivia and Brian had ever seen. The two were mesmerized by the image displayed on the screen. Olivia couldn't believe that little black spot would become a baby, her baby.

The doctor finished up, wiped the rest of the gel off Olivia, and placed the screen back in its original spot. She went back to the cupboards, put the gel back and opened a different one to retrieve the fetal Doppler, she would use to find the baby's heartbeat.

"Now, let's see if we can't find a heartbeat. It's very common this early for it to be hard to find." The doctor searched with the wand on the device for a few minutes, until a swishing sound filled the silent room. "Well that wasn't too hard. It sounds nice and strong". She smiled at both parents.

"Wow... That's our baby." Brian was blown away by the sound of his son or daughter's heartbeat.

Olivia was absolutely speechless. How could something so little produce such a loud and fast sound? It was so crazy to the detective that in less than 9 months that heartbeat would be coming from a newborn, her own son or daughter. As unsentimental as Olivia was a lot of the time, she was overwhelmed by the emotions she was feeling. Nothing compared to this.

The appointment finished up with Dr. Matthews giving Liv a prescription for prenatal vitamins and anti-nauseas for the days when her morning, afternoon or night sickness was just too much to handle.

The pair left the doctor's office even more overwhelmed than they already had been. This time though Olivia was overwhelmed with happy feelings as well. She was still worried and slightly unsure, but the appointment had opened her eyes to what was really happening.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The next three weeks just seem to fly by. A lot had happened in the short time.

To start, Olivia had taken her sergeant's exam. Obviously she had passed with flying colors placing 48th out of 8,000. She was pretty proud of herself, but this didn't mean she was done in the field. Maybe her card would now say Sergeant Benson, but she was still just as dedicated to solving crimes and helping victims.

Brian, after going undercover for IAB earlier in the year, had earned his shield back. He had helped out a fellow officer who was raping women with the help of his partner. His duty was rewarded with his detective status back. Although, he would be working for IAB, which neither him or Live was thrilled about, he was still going to be a detective again.

The couple had decided that since they had such great news to share and a brand new apartment that was finally fully decorated, they would throw a house warming party. Olivia was pretty proud of their home and she was excited to be able to share it with her squad.

The other reason for the house warming party, though, was to finally tell everyone she was pregnant. She was 12 weeks now and at her last doctor's appointment, Dr. Matthews said that since she made it through the first trimester, she was safe to start telling everyone. She had been rather hesitant at first, but Brian and Olivia had decided it would be easiest to gather everyone in one place and tell them all at the same time.

They had planned the party for Friday night after work. Liv had left the precinct a little early to go home and get ready. Cragen and his "girl friend" , Fin, Amanda, Nick, Melinda, and even Munch, we're all coming.

Once the food was prepared and the table all set up, Liv and Brian got ready themselves.

This however was kind of an issue for Olivia. Although her baby bump wasn't much, it was still there and it was starting to become an issue as far as clothes fitting correctly. Her jeans and pants were tighter and if she wore shirts that were a little on the tight side, you could tell she had out put on a little weight through the middle. She was still looked good though, but Olivia was incredibly self-conscious about it.

She had already tried on 3 pairs of pants and 4 shirts. "I have nothing to wear."

"What about the dress you wore for Munch's retirement party?" Brian suggested.

"I think a cocktail dress is a little bit much for a housewarming party. But thanks for trying."

She finally settled on black slacks, they were the loosest pants she owned, and a deep plum colored top that concealed her slight bump.

Just as she was finishing up, there was a knock at the door. She could hear Brian open it and greet Fin and Melinda.

As Olivia came out of the bedroom to say hello to Fin and Melinda, Nick arrived as well. Followed by Amanda, and then Cragen and Ilene.

The group has a great time snacking on or devours, catching up on normal life things that they didn't get to discuss at work.

While everyone was seated at the table together, Brian tapped his knife against his wine glass. "We have a little announcement."

Everyone turned their attention towards the couple at the head of the table.

"Uh as of today, Detective Benson will soon be known as Sergeant Benson. She placed number 48th on her exam."

There was a murmur of congratulations amongst the guests.

"Well even better news..." Olivia continued their announcements. "As of today Brian will once again be Detective Cassidy."

And another murmur of congratulations for Brian.

"Umm." Brian chuckled. "There's one more thing."

This was it. After the words left her mouth, she couldn't take them back, everyone would know.

Olivia took one deep breath. "I'm pregnant. We're having a baby." There she did it.

Silence. Everyone was quiet, shocked by the news they had just heard. All the guests were just staring at one and other, waiting for someone to say something first.

Amanda was the first to speak. "Wow, that's great you guys. Congratulations!"

"Congratulations to both of you." Nick followed up.

"Congrats, girl." Fin said.

"That's great. Now, let's just hope that baby looks like Liv." Munch joked.

"I'm so happy for both of you. How far along are you?" Melinda being the doctor was curious.

"12 weeks." Liv answered.

Olivia was slightly disappointed by the lack of congratulations from her captain. She knew he might take the news differently than the others. He would be worried about having to losing one of his best detective for a while, but she had still hoped he would be happy for them.

As the night came to a close and the guests were leaving, Cragen pulled Olivia aside. "I just want you to know Liv, that I'm really happy for you. I know how much you've wanted this and I couldn't think of a better person to be a mom. And remember we're all here for you, whatever you need. Congratulations." The captain gave her a hug and left with Ilene.

Liv was truly touched by Cragen's congratulations. It meant a lot that he was supportive of her. He was a father figure for Olivia and to have his approval and best wishes meant a lot to her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Case after case came pouring into SVU over the next two weeks. The squad could just not catch a break. They came in early and left late, night after night. There were even a few nights that none of them ever went home.

At 14 weeks, Olivia was starting to feel a lot better. The morning sickness, and daytime sickness, was finally subsiding and she was feeling more energized. However, her baby bump certainly wasn't going away. Liv felt like she had gained 5 pounds of tummy in the last two weeks alone. It wasn't quite that much, but she definitely had a bump now. The biggest change,though, as far as Olivia was concerned, was having to cut back her caffeine intake. Dr. Matthews had compromised with her and she was allowed to have two cups a day, one in the morning and one in the afternoon.

Things at work were a little different now, too. Olivia was still allowed out in the field at crime scenes, to talk to victims and witnesses, and she could still interrogate. But she had to avoid picking up suspects, because that's usually where things got messy. Normally if anything went wrong or the job got dangerous, it happened when someone was evading arrest. And Cragen's main concern was keeping Liv safe, without taking away her job completely.

Today however, was not such a great day for Liv. All the stress of the last two weeks was catching up to her and she was paying the price. She had thrown up 4 times already and it was only 1:00.

The squad was sitting at their desk, filling out paperwork for their latest cases. It had been days since they all got the chance to just stop and take a breather, so they were taking advantage of not having to interrogate a suspect or drive to a crime scene. Rollins and Fin were discussing some sports game, Nick was on the typing away while he talked on the phone to his daughter Zara, and Cragen was in his office looking over files. Olivia, however, was just too distracted to worry about her paperwork.

She leaned back in her chair, taking a few deep breaths, trying to ease her nausea.

"Olivia, are you sure you're okay?" Fin was concerned for the detective.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Liv gave him an uncertain smile.

She said that only to have another wave of nausea wash over her. She flew from her seat at her desk, almost running to the bathroom to be sick, again.

The team watched her disappear to the bathroom for the 5th time today.

"She is so not okay. Why won't she just admit it and go home?" Amanda just couldn't wrap her head around Olivia's defiance. If she had been sick that many times she wouldn't even be able to stand up.

"Because it's Olivia we're talking about. Unless she's dying, she certainly isn't going home early." Nick responded.

Amanda just shook her head.

Olivia came back into the squad room looking even paler than she had when she left. She was walking slowly, almost swaying. She had never felt so light headed.

"Liv, you really do not look good. Why don't you just head home?" Nick prodded his partner.

Olivia had just barely made it to her desk. Gripping the edge just to keep herself from falling over. The whole room was spinning around her.

"I'll be fine." She couldn't even talk, her words were a slurred mess.

She slowly reached for the bottle of water that sat on her desk. Nick noticed her shaking hands, even Amanda and Fin on the other side of the squad room could see her shaking.

As she took the lid of her bottle, Nick could see her begin to sway. He stood up from his desk and went over to his partner. "Here, let's sit down Liv." He grabbed her shaking elbow, trying to help her into her chair.

Before she could even try to sit, Nick watched as her head rolled back, her body went limp in his grasp, and her eyes closed, the bottle of water crashing to the floor, water going everywhere.

"Liv?! Olivia?!" He laid her down on the squad room floor. Fin and Rollins watched in terror.

"Olivia!" There was still no response. "One of you call for a bus. Now!"

Fin grabbed his phone and dialed. "This is detective Tutuola, 16th precinct Special Victims Unit. We have an officer down. We need a bus, ASAP!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 **

Brian came rushing through the hospital doors of the maternity ward, running into the waiting room where the rest of the squad was stationed.

"What happened?! Where's Liv?!" The team could see the terror in Brian's eyes.

"Brian, breath. You've got to calm down." Cragen stood up from his chair. "She passed out in the squad room. EMS brought her in, they're checking her and running tests right now. We haven't heard anything yet."

Brian ran his hand through his hair. Why did this happen? Olivia was worried enough and now she had to go through this. He knew she had been doing too much and working too much, but he didn't think it would come to this.

"Here sit down, Brian." Cragen offered him the seat next to his and the two men sat down. " The doctor should be out when they know more."

They all waited together for the next 45 minutes. Rollins and Fin had gone to get coffee for everyone, while Nick, Brian, and Cragen stayed seated. Nick was flipping through some magazine that had been laying around and Cragen was messing around with his phone. Brian was sitting with his head in his hands, looking quite distraught.

It seemed like ages before they heard any word about Olivia. But finally Dr. Matthews came walking through the swinging double doors of the ward.

"Brian?" He looked up at the doctor standing with a file in hand.

He got up from his seat. "How is she?"

"Follow me." The doctor took Brian through the double doors. "She seems to be fine now. A little tired, but that's to be expected."

"And the baby?" Brian just wanted answers.

"The baby is fine, too." Dr. Matthews stopped outside what must of been Olivia's room. "It seems that Olivia had a small seizure."

"A seizure?" He didn't understand.

"Yes, just a small one. It happens sometimes during pregnancy because of the mother's influx in hormones. It wasn't anything major, but it did cause her to loose consciousness. Olivia was also extremely dehydrated, which didn't help matters any. But I think the stress she's been under lately is a leading cause. When they brought her in, Mr. Cragen informed me of her recent work hours. I know, she's stubborn but Olivia has to slow down a little bit. She can't work 12 hour days, every day. I understand it'll be hard, but I need you to help make sure she starts taking it a little easier. I don't want to have to tell her she can't work at all, but if she keeps going like she has been, that's what it'll come to."

"I tried to tell her, but she just wouldn't listen." Brian looked quite defeated.

"Well, maybe this whole ordeal will make her realize. But for now, why don't you go see her. I wouldn't worry about bringing this up until you get home. Just be there for her right now."

"Speaking of that, when will she be able to come home?" Brian knew Olivia wouldn't want to be there any longer than she had to.

"Tomorrow. I want to keep her overnight for observation and so that we can keep her hooked up to the IV to make sure she stays hydrated."

"Okay. Thanks, Dr. Matthews."

"Of course. Now go see Olivia." The doctor left, walking down the hall towards another room.

He walked into the room. Olivia was dozing off in the bed at the center of the room. There was an IV in left hand and few other machines by the bed she seemed to be hooked up to.

Brian took the chair that sitting in the corner of the room and moved it to the bedside. He sat down, grabbing her hand into his own.

Olivia stirred a little, her eyes fluttered a little before she opened them all the way, turning her head to see Brian sitting beside her.

"Hey." Brian smiled at her. "How are you feeling?"

"I've been better." Liv gave him a slight smirk.

"Is there anything I can get you?"

"Can you prop my pillows up so i can sit up?"

Brian got up and helped Liv sit up so he could set up her pillows behind her. She settled back into the pillows.

"You gave me quite a scare you know." Brian watched as Olivia shifted in the bed, obviously not wanting to discuss the topic.

"Sorry." She said meekly.

"I don't think I've ever ran out in the middle of a shift like that." Brian chuckled.

"Well excuse me for inconveniencing you." Olivia said flatly.

"Liv, that's not what I meant at all. I was just worried about you." He tried to grab her hand, but the pulled away.

"There wasn't anything to worry about. So you're welcome to leave now since I interrupted your day."

"What are you talking about? Olivia where is this coming from?! I want to be here for you." Brian was starting to get really irritated with her.

"I'm not 10, I don't need a babysitter. You don't need to worry about me 24/7, I can take care of myself." Olivia's annoyance grew with every word.

"Oh yeah, you're doing a real good job taking care of yourself. That's why you're laying in a hospital bed right now."

That one stung. Brian knew he shouldn't have said it, but he was just too angry and the words came out before he thought about it. He watched as Olivia's whole demeanor changed, the tears welling up in her eyes over his last statement.

"Get the hell out, Brian!" Olivia's tears were overflowing now, running down her cheeks.

"Gladly. Ihope you have someone who can take you home tomorrow, because I don't plan on being here." And with that Brian stormed out of the room.

He pushed his way through the double doors and past everyone in the waiting room.

As he walked by, Cragen stood up from his seat. "Brian? Brian where are you going?!"

But Brian just kept walking, straight out the doors of the hospital, not even looking


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

It had been a very stressful and anger filled two weeks in the Benson-Cassidy household. Not to mention, silent.

After the whole ordeal at the hospital, Brian really didn't come back. Cragen and Fin were nice enough to take her home and get her settled. And although Olivia was still upset with him, she wished Brian had shown up.

The couple hadn't spoken more than ten words to each other in those 14 days and the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

As a way to avoid being at home, Brian was taking every possible shift he could find. Wether it be patrol or security at public events in the city or even just extra things for IAB, he was up for anything as long as it meant staying away from the apartment.

Olivia was doing the exact same thing. She would take on anything that needed to be done for any cases that came in, interrogation, paperwork, helping previous victims with trial matters, whatever needed to be done Liv would do it. And because she knew she needed to be taking better care of herself, she was making an effort to eat better and take naps in the cribs whenever she got the opportunity, that way she could stay longer at the precint.

The pair really had avoided being at home during the same times quite well. But finally one Friday night they ended up at home together.

Olivia was in the kitchen making herself a salad when Brian got home from work.

Brian hung his jacket up in the coat closet and went in the bedroom to change out of his work clothes. When he came back out to the kitchen and living room, Olivia was struggling to reach something in the cabinets above the fridge. Without thinking, Brian went over and grabbed it for.

"I could of gotten it myself." Olivia huffed.

"Excuse me for trying to be nice." Brian retorted.

The two stood in the kitchen silent. Brian couldn't understand how things had gotten so awkward and tense between them, over something that was so uncalled for.

"You know we can't just not talk to each forever. Last time I checked that baby is going to be here pretty soon and I don't think we can really do that without talking." All Brian wanted was to work it out, He didn't want to bring a child into a hostile environment. And he knew that if Olivia had acted the way she did, there was a reason for it, she didn't explode that way over nothing.

"Oh you want to talk?" Olivia asked him.

"For God's sake, yes I want you to talk to me." Brian told her.

"Fine. We can talk. Brian, I was scared out of my mind that day in the hospital. I woke up hooked up to an IV and, you know, I was sure that  
I had lost the baby. I thought this is it, the one opportunity I get to be a parent and I ruined it. I worked too much, I wasn't eating right, I wasn't sleeping, I killed our child. But when the nurse told me everything was fine and the baby was okay, I was so pissed at myself. How could I allow it to get to the point of being stuck in a hospital bed, worrying about possibly having lost our baby?"

"Olivia, it wasn't your fault."

"But it was. There were so many things I could of done to help prevent it and I didn't. And then you came in worried as hell and I knew the whole squad was sitting in the waiting just as worried and I felt so guilty. None of you deserved to go through that over something that was unnecessary." Olivia was getting really upset and Brian could see the tears in her eyes.

"Liv, we worried because we cared. You can't sit here and blame yourself. Nothing happened, the two of you are perfectly okay." Brian went over to her, putting his hands on her shoulders and looking her in the eye.

"I know I can't, but you know I'm going to." Olivia looked down at her feet not wanting to make eye contact.

Brian kissed her forehead. "I know you're upset with yourself, I know how hard you on yourself. But this time there was nothing that happened, nothing to blame yourself for."

"I know, I know." Liv looked up at him. "But you know what else I realized that day. How excited I really was. I'm still scared out of my mind for us to be doing this, but I am truly excited about this baby. I know I haven't shown it, but it made me realize how attached I already was. But i just felt so awful because I had been so detached and almost cold about it."

"I knew you were completely overwhelmed, that's why I wanted to be there for you. I wanted you to know that you weren't alone, that I was committed to you and our child. That's why I got so mad when you pushed me away, because you never want to accept the help or the care. You have to know I didn't mean anything I said to you in that hospital room. I just want you to know that I'm not going anywhere, we are in this together." Brian gave her another kiss on the forehead and pulled her in for a hug.

Olivia was in awe of the man holding her. How had she found someone like? How had she been so lucky? All the anger dissolved between the couple. And maybe things weren't perfect, yet, but they were a lot better now.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 **

Today was the day. It was Olivia's 20 week appointment and they were going to find out the gender of baby Benson-Cassidy.

The couple had decided that they really wanted to be prepared for the arrival of the baby, so they wanted to know the gender in order to buy everything ahead of time and hopefully have a name picked out.

Brian was basically jumping up and down with excitement. He could not wait to see the baby again and finally be able to refer to it as a he or she, instead of "the baby" or "it". And because of their argument, he had missed Liv's 16 week appointment, so that made this appointment even more exciting for him.

Liv was also quite excited, although she didn't show it like Brian, this was the most excited she had been for any doctor's appointment. She was happy to finally be told whether she was having a son or daughter. Although she would never admit it, she was kind of hyped about picking a name for their little bundle and buying all the cute little outfits and gear the baby would need.

Olivia could barely make it through the work day. She was just too distracted with the afternoon's events. This was probably one of the biggest events of her whole pregnancy and she was overly anxious to find out.

"Liv, you okay? You seem kind of jittery." Amaro had noticed his partner's somewhat odd behavior.

"I'm just distracted. We find out the sex of the baby this afternoon." Olivia explained to her concerned partner.

"That's great, Liv. What are you guys hoping for?" Rollins joined in on the conversation.

"I don't know about Brian, but I honestly don't really care. As long as he or she is healthy, then I'm happy." And she really did feel that way. She wasn't leaning one way or another as far as the baby being a boy or girl. Either one would be perfectly fine with her.

That was brought up throughout the day, along with other baby related topics. And for the first time, Olivia didn't really mind talking about it. She loved that the team cared so much about her child already. Her son or daughter certainly had plenty of people watching out for them.

The day seemed to go on for years, but finally at 3:30, Liv got up from her desk and went to tell Cragen she was heading out.

"Hey, captain." Olivia peaked her head into his office where he was working on his own paperwork. "I'm getting ready to leave, I just wanted to let you know."

"Alright see you tomorrow Liv." The captain grinned at his head detective, he could tell she was excited.

Olivia said her goodbyes to the rest of the squad and headed out to meet Brian.

The two made it to the doctor's office by 4:00 and her appointment was at 4:30, the last one of the day.

The two sat in the waiting room together, both incredibly anxious at this point. They both had been waiting all day for this and neither had much patience left.

"Olivia?" It was the same nurse every time, in her blue scrubs and sneakers.

She took the couple back to an exam room, checked Olivia's blood pressure and pulse, and left telling them the doctor should be with them shortly.

The pair sat in the small room in silence. Brian was in the chair next to the computer desk and Olivia was on the exam table already, since she knew that's where she would end up anyway.

It took about 10 minutes for Dr. Mathews to show up.

"Sorry, I'm running late today you guys. I can see you are ready to go there, Olivia." Dr. Mathews chuckled at the waiting detective.

"We're a little excited about this." Brian announced.

"I can tell. Well since you're all ready, go ahead and lean back Olivia and lift up that shirt of yours." The doctor grabbed the bottle of blue gel and took her spot at the side of the table, moving the screen for Brian and Olivia to see. "And you already know this will be cold."

Olivia winced at the cold gel. This was it. She glanced at Brian, who sitting on the edge of his seat, twiddling his thumbs

"Okay, so I'm guessing you would like to find out the gender today?" Dr. Mathews looked from Olivia to Brian.

"Yes, please." Olivia smiled at the doctor.

"Alright then, we'll see if we can't figure that out for you two today."

The doctor searched for a couple minutes, trying to find a good picture of the baby.

"There we go. So there's the head and an arm." Dr. Mathews pointed to the screen. "And obviously those are the legs. Now we're sure we want to know the gender?"

"Yes!" Brian answered a little more enthusiastically than anyone expected.

Dr. Mathews just laughed. "Well I guess that was a definitive answer. I just hope this baby behaves for you guys and we can get an answer."

The doctor searched for a little while longer, focusing hard on the screen.

"Let's see..."

Olivia was growing more and more anxious by the second. She could barely contain herself. She just needed to know.

"It looks like you two are having yourselves a girl."

A girl. A little girl. A daughter. Olivia couldn't believe it. She was going to have a daughter, they would be bringing home a baby girl.

Brian was speechless, too. He was so happy it was girl. He hadn't said anything to Liv, but he had been secretly hoping for a little girl. He wanted a daughter to spoil and protect, he wanted his own little daddy's girl.

"You can't really tell that it's a girl, but it's pretty obvious she's not a boy, so there is your answer." Dr. Mathews smiled at the obviously awed couple.

The two still didn't say a word while Dr. Mathews wiped off Liv's baby bump, put the screen back into its place, and replacing the bottle of gel with the fetal doppler, to check the baby's heartbeat.

"We'll just check her heartbeat and measure you and then you two will be out of here."

Dr. Mathews easily found the heartbeat easily; it was strong and as loud as ever. She also measured Olivia's baby bump, which was exactly on track, size wise, for 20 weeks.

After Dr. Mathews reminded Olivia to make sure she was eating three solid meals a day, getting rest, and not overworking herself, the doctor left the couple.

"We're having a little girl." Brian helped Liv off the exam table.

"I can't believe it." Olivia chuckled.

"I say we go celebrate our daughter." Brian held Liv's hand as they walked out of the doctor's office.

"I think that sounds perfect, Mr. Cassidy." Olivia planted a small kiss on her boyfriend's lips.

And with that they went to their favorite restaurant to celebrate their baby girl.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Even after knowing for two weeks, Brian and Liv were still excited about having a little girl.

They hadn't done any shopping whatsoever before then because they wanted to buy gender specific things after they found out. So they certainly had their work cut out for them as far as having everything before their daughter arrived.

They had already decided on a crib. There was a cute little baby store in Manhattan, Rollins had been there to buy a shower present for a friend and told Olivia about it because she thought she might enjoy it. And Olivia had. It was a large boutique filled with unique and absolutely adorable clothes, blankets, strollers, car seats, and furniture. Olivia went by herself after work one day while Brian was still on his shift. She had gone specifically to order the crib, there was one in particular Brian and she had decided on. So that was the only item taken care.

This time around though, it was a Sunday, a day off for both Brian and Olivia, and the couple was going to pick up some more necessities.

They made a day out of it. Grabbing lunch at their favorite Thai restaurant, it had been what Olivia was craving, and then headed into the city to shop.

There were so many things in the store, neither one of them could decide where to start. They finally decided to start with strollers and car seats.

Olivia really like the Bugaboo strollers that came in bright pink, but it had a hefty thousand dollar price tags. She also liked the B.O.B. jogging strollers. Those ones in particular came in a few colors Olivia liked. Brian felt the jogging stroller was more practical, they could use it for quite a few years and they could purchase a converter, so the car seat could sit in the stroller.

A young girl who worked in the store helped them while they shopped the strollers. "So, I'll grab the stroller out of the back and put it up front for you two while you shop. And I can do the same with whatever car seat you choose."

"What about the converter that fits in the stroller for the car seat?" Olivia asked her.

"We'll get that for you, too. There are different ones for different brands of car seats. So you can decide which one you like and then we'll get the converter for you. Now I'll go grab that stroller and let you two continue." The young girl left them to go grab the stroller.

Since they had decided on the all-black stroller, it was easier to choose a car seat that matched. Olivia liked the red and black one. She had seen it online; it had good safety ratings and was compatible with the B.O.B. stroller.

The sales girl grabbed that one, as well as the converter for them.

"Well that was pretty simple." Brian was surprised, he figured they be in the store forever looking at baby gear.

"We aren't done yet. I still want to look at the clothes." Olivia told him.

"You do realize we have 4 and 1/2 more months before your due date, right? We don't have to buy everything right now." Brian pointed out.

"Yes I know that, but how many more days off are we going to have together in those 4 months?"

"Touché, Ms. Benson." Brian chuckled as they made their way to never ending racks of miniature sized clothing.

"Oh Brian, look how cute this is." Olivia showed him a bright floral patterned dress with matching leggings.

"This child is going to have a lot of unnecessary clothing, isn't she?" Brian could already see that Liv, who basically despised shopping for herself and didn't like to spend the money, would feel very differently about buying for her daughter. It made him kind of happy that she was getting a little more excited about the situation.

"There's not really such thing as unnecessary clothing." Olivia informed him.

"Says the women who refused to shop for maternity clothes till you couldn't pull your pants up and your stomach was hanging out of all your tops." Brian had told her for weeks that she needed to pick up a few things she could wear throughout her pregnancy so she would be more comfortable. She fought him for the longest time, until absolutely nothing she owned was wearable.

"Hey, rude. This is much different. And when it comes to a baby, that drools and spits up and throws up, you can never have enough outfits." Olivia just wanted to know that they had more than enough.

"I guess you make a good point." Brian started looking through a few of the racks, not really sure what in the world a baby girl would need or wear. Even though he had felt pretty confident about most things that had come up so far during this whole process, this whole shopping thing was really out of his element. But as long as Olivia thought she could take care of this aspect, he was just going to let her.

The two looked for a little while longer, but Olivia was getting tired quickly. Her energy was pretty good most of the time, but today she felt a little more fatigued than normal.

They went back up to the register and purchased their things. They ended up with 4 outfits, a set of pink, purple, and turquoise onesies, matching leggings, a few pairs of socks, and a couple cute little headbands with the big flowers and bows on them, as well as their larger items.

As they were checking out, Brian's phone rang. He had to go to work because a case had come up. So the couple quickly paid and headed back home, that way Brian could get everything into the apartment before heading to the precinct.

After getting everything out of the car and into the apartment Brian went to work, leaving Olivia to take a nap, a luxury she did not often get to enjoy.

She felt good about the day's purchases. Knowing she was just a little more prepared made her feel better.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

It had been an incredibly long six weeks for Olivia. So much had changed in her pregnancy and trying to juggle everything along with the changes was becoming a lot.

As far as physical changes, at 28 weeks Olivia's baby bump was becoming large and in charge. She had started feeling a little more awkward and clumsy. It was hard for her, not having total control of her body. And although she hadn't even gained 20 pounds, she felt huge and she was only going to get bigger.

Her little girl had also started kicking like crazy. It was almost constant at this point. Olivia could not go any longer than 10 minutes without being kicked or punched in the rib.

Along with the kicking came the infamous bathroom trips. Olivia felt like her whole day was spent in the bathroom. Fin had even begun to joke with her at work, that they should just move her desk into the handicap stall and Olivia was beginning to agree with him.

The most irritating though, were the Braxton Hicks contractions. A lot of the time they weren't too bothersome, but some days she couldn't focus on anything else. She wouldn't describe them as painful, but they were uncomfortable and distracting. Dr. Matthews had said often they were caused by inactivity and now that Olivia was slowly becoming a desk jockey at work, they were becoming a recurrence throughout the day.

Speaking of work, Olivia was still allowed to go to crime scenes and interrogate, but she was staying at the precinct more often while the squad talked to witnesses, friends, and family. She wouldn't have to be on complete desk duty, at all, as long as Dr. Matthews was fine with it and Olivia felt up to it.

After interrogating their most recent suspect for the case they were working, the guy had ended up being innocent, the squad was sitting as a group around their case board. The board had picture of all the evidence, suspects, and victims, as well as important documents. During cases the whole, sometimes even Cragen, would gather around the board at a table discussing the case trying to come up with new leads.

As the team was discussing away, Olivia's Braxton Hicks were acting up, making her shift in her seat and zone out of the conversation. The team just kept talking, meanwhile Olivia got up from her seat and stood behind her chair, that way she could still be a part of the conversation. She began to shift her weight from one foot to another, movement always helped slow them down or stop them.

"You okay, Liv?" Amaro asked her. The squad had stopped talking and were staring at the swaying detective.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just Braxton Hicks, it's nothing. Let's keep going." Olivia reassured the team.

"Actually let's stop there." Cragen told his team. "You all have been looking at this for hours, go eat or catch some sleep in the cribs, something for a little while and come back with fresh eyes." He headed back to his office.

Olivia was going to take their break as an opportunity to go for a walk and get these Braxton Hicks contractions to stop. She headed to her desk grabbing her purse and jacket. "I'm going to head over to the coffee shop, any of you want something?" The little coffee shop down the street a couple blocks was known as "police cafe", all the NYPD officers frequented the place throughout the day.

"Do you mind if I come with you?" Amanda asked her. "I really want to get out here, get a little fresh air."

"Sure, of course." Olivia liked the idea of having some company to take her mind of the contractions. "Boys?"

"Just the usual for me, Liv, thanks. I'm going to catch some z's ." Fin headed to the cribs.

"Same for me, Liv. I'm going to finish up some left over paperwork. Thank you." Amaro opened one of the many files on his desk, getting to work.

The ladies headed out, making their way to coffee shop. As they left the building, Olivia could already tell the walk was going to help, her Braxton Hicks were beginning to subside.

The walk started silent, but Amanda was soon asking questions. "Do you guys have any names picked out?"

"Ha! I wish. The two of us can't really agree on that one. Brian like very traditional names." The name thing was a big struggle between the two of them, Olivia didn't think they would ever agree on anything.

"And you don't?" Amanda wasn't really surprised.

"No." Olivia chuckled. "I don't want to choose something really weird, like Apple or Cocoa, but I want something a little different, something you don't hear everyday."

"That makes sense." Amanda agreed.

"You understand, Amanda is a pretty common name, you here Olivia and Brian all the time. I don't want her to meet or know or have classmates with the same name as her." Olivia felt pretty strongly about the topic.

They discussed more baby related thing as they finished their walk, arriving at the coffee shop.

They ordered their own drinks, Fin and Nick's, as well as on for Cragen. Even though he hadn't asked for it, the girls knew he would like one.

They left, drinks in hand and headed back to work. By now Olivia's contractions had completely stopped. Now hopefully they would stay away for the rest of the day and the squad could get somewhere on the case.

Olivia and Amanda walked back into the squad room. Fin and Nick were both standing with Cragen, all looking a little worried.

Olivia set her things on her desk while Amanda gave them their coffee. They all accepted their cups, without taking a sip, just staring at the plastic lids.

"Is everything okay? Did did something happen with the case?" Olivia was confused by her teams behavior.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Amanda was just as taken aback by their behavior.

"Umm, Olivia maybe you should take a seat." Cragen looked the most distraught out of the whole group.

"I'm fine. What is wrong?" Olivia was really starting to worry, Cragen never acted liked this unless something was really wrong.

Cragen looked at the other two men, both of them were looking elsewhere trying to avoid eye contact with their captain and with Olivia. They didn't want to be there when she found out, but they knew she would need the support.

Cragen took a deep breath. "It's Brian."

"What about Brian?!" Olivia knew this couldn't be good. A million scenarios were running through her head. What if was hit by a car? Or fired? Or stabbed? Or something even worse?

"He was shot."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Olivia's world seemed to stop after those words left Cragen's mouth. She didn't know what to do or say.

Somehow they had made it to the hospital and were sitting in the waiting room of Mercy-General. She didn't remember getting there. She didn't remember anything that happened after Cragen told her.

It wasn't until they were in that waiting room that she fully began to comprehend what had happened and why they were there. That's when everything came pouring out and she finally broke down. Normally, Liv always put up a strong front, not revealing any emotion, but this time she didn't even try to stop her tears. And although they felt absolutely awful, none of the team knew how to react to her behavior; they had never dealt with Olivia like this.

Cragen moved to sit with her, wrapping her in a hug. And to his surprise she didn't fight him, didn't pull away, she just let him hold her while she cried. The rest of the squad just stared at the sight of their captain comforting his toughest detective.

Olivia didn't budge for nearly an hour, but during that time a nurse had come out and let the group know that Brian was still in surgery.

"You know, Brian's a fighter. He'll make it through this." Nick was only trying to comfort his partner and friend. He didn't know how else to help her.

Olivia just stared at him, tears streaked across her face. She didn't know how to respond to him. She knew he was trying to make her feel better, but it didn't help, it only made it worse. It only made her thoughts run faster through her head. It only made her feel more helpless and hopeless. It actually made her feel sick to her stomach, nauseated by the thought of Brian being so helpless himself.

"I'm going to be sick." Was all Olivia could say as she covered her mouth with her hand, running to the bathroom.

She made it to the first stall, throwing up before she could even close the door behind her. She laid her head on the toilet seat waiting for the nausea to pass. When, she finally felt well enough, she sat up closing the stall door. She leaned her weak body against the stall, sobs taking over her body once again, making her shake with emotion.

All that kept crossing her mind was the thought of possibly losing Brian. She had never loved a man like she loved Brian. He was the only guy she had ever met who would stick by her side. After everything that had happened with William Lewis he never left her, he never broke under the pressure of helping her recover, of helping her gain her life back. They had moved in together, they had created a life together.

Olivia placed a hand on her swollen abdomen. The baby felt the touch of her momma and kicked her hand. This wasn't just about her now, this was about their daughter, their daughter that could now potentially be fatherless. As much as Olivia wanted to be a parent, she couldn't imagine having to do it all by herself. How was she supposed to work, take care of newborn, and her home? She couldn't, she just couldn't, and she shouldn't have to. This should not be all her responsibility; this wasn't how it was supposed to happen. She and Brian should have been at home, picking out baby names, discussing what other items they needed to buy, not sitting in a hospital, one of them possibly dying and other sitting in a bathroom stall throwing up. Why did everything good have to end? All Olivia wanted was her little family and now they may never happen.

All the awful thoughts running through her head made her sick again. As she leaned over the toilet, losing what was left of her lunch, she heard the bathroom door open.

"Liv, are you okay?" It was Rollins. Olivia knew she couldn't be alone forever and it didn't surprise her that the boys had sent Amanda to check on her.

She slowly stood up, flushing the toilet, and opening the stall to see Amanda standing at the sinks.

Olivia washed her hands and splashed some cold water on her face, trying to remove the streaked make up that covered her eyes and cheeks.

"Okay, I know you're not alright. The boys just sent me in here to check on you. I know you probably really want to just be left alone."

"No, no, you're fine. I know they're worried." Just trying to talk made Olivia begin to cry again. She couldn't hold anything in.

"Oh, Liv. I'm sorry." Amanda felt awful. She knew Olivia must just be distraught over everything and here she was trying to make small talk with a hormonal, tired, overwhelmed, upset pregnant woman. She felt like an idiot.

"It's not you, Amanda." Olivia couldn't imagine how awful she must have looked to the younger detective. She was a tear stained mess, who couldn't stop crying if her life depended on it.

"Look, I know I have no idea how hard this must be for you, but I want you to know we are all here for you. I know you just want answers and you just want to know what's going on with Brian, but we all we want to help you. I know you won't believe me, but I really do think Brian is going to come out of this, I really think he'll be okay. He knows that you and his daughter need him, he's not going to give up on either of you." Amanda knew she was babbling, but she just wanted her fellow detective, her friend, to know that she wasn't alone.

"Thank you." Olivia took a deep breath. "We should probably get back out there in case the doctor comes."

"Yes we should." Amanda smiled at Liv and followed her out of the bathroom.

Both women took back their seats in the waiting room. Olivia's tears had seemed to stop and for now she was just sitting silently.

Another hour went by before Brian's surgeon came to talk to Olivia about Brian.

"The bullet nicked one of the arteries in his heart. The surgery was successful in stopping the bleeding and we will have to go in and do another surgery to repair the artery late. But he is still unconscious."

"Unconscious? What do you mean he is unconscious?" Olivia didn't understand.

"He is in a coma, Ms. Benson." The doctor calmly answered her. It made Olivia incredibly mad that the doctor was so calm and unattached. How could he act as if this was normal. Olivia's world was crumbling around her and he was as calm as can be.

"When will he be awake?" Olivia asked him, trying to not show her anger towards his awful bedside manner.

"It's very hard to say. It could be hours or weeks. It all depend on the patient. And although I know it's the last thing you want to think of right now, there is the slightest possibility he may not come out of it. His surgery went very smoothly, so the chance of that happening is slim to none, but I want you to be aware of all the possible scenarios." The doctor did feel bad for her, it was obvious she was with child, but he couldn't allow his emotions to get in the way of his job.

"Can I see him?" Olivia was back to being in tears. She had just been told that her boyfriend and father of her child may never wake up, she was surprised she could even form a single sentence.

"Of course, I will take you to him." Olivia followed the doctor back to his room.

Brian was laying in the bed, hooked to an IV, a nasal cannula in his nose giving him oxygen. Olivia was shocked by his appearance. He was Mr. Tough Guy, never showed emotion, never shed a tear, never complained, yet here he was lying in a hospital, totally helpless.

Olivia moved a chair next to the bed and took a seat. She grabbed his hand, gripping it with hers. The doctor left, leaving the two alone in the room.

"Brian, I love you so much. Please, all I ask is that you pull through. Please. Not just for you, but for our baby girl. Please, Bri." Olivia sat in the chair weeping.

She sat there for hours, sobbing uncontrollably, until exhaustion took over her body and she fell asleep in her chair, never letting go of Brian's hand.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

What seemed like the longest week of Olivia's life, slowly passed by. Brian still had not woken up, and to be perfectly honest Olivia was starting to lose hope.

His vitals had completely stabilized, the bleed had stopped and did not return, and they had even taken him back into surgery to repair the artery. But he still had not come to. As much as Olivia was trying to stay positive, it was getting harder and harder by the day. If everything had gone so smoothly, why wasn't he waking up? All she wanted was to see those hazel eyes looking at her, to hear his raspy voice she thought was so sexy, and to take him home.

The whole week Olivia had spent at his bedside. She went home once for 15 minutes to pick up some essentials and changes of clothes, but besides that she never left Brian's side. She was absolutely exhausted, no one can sleep well in a chair at 7 months pregnant, it not possible, and Olivia was no exception. She would never admit that she felt like absolute crap or that her back was killing her or that she just wanted to sleep in her own bed. She was not going to complain about anything when the love of her life couldn't even open his eyes.

Everyone had come by to visit, although they knew Brian wasn't awake, they were still coming to support Liv. The whole team knew she would never leave, so they came to her.

The last day of the week, Cragen came by to see how Brain was doing, but really to check on Olivia. He knew he had to figure out some way to get her home. She couldn't live in a hospital room until Brian could go home.

"Hey Liv." The captain greeted his detective, moving to stand by her seat next to the bed. "Any change?"

She just shook her head. He had seen Olivia looking quite bad before, but he was sure he had never seen her look so drained.

"You know maybe you should go home. Maybe get some rest?" He decided he would ask first, seeing if she would take him up on it.

"I'm fine." The exact answer he was expecting.

"Olivia you can't do this to yourself. Brian would understand that you need to take of yourself and his child." Cragen was not letting up till he got her home.

"Really I'm fine." He could tell she wanted to go, but she refused to leave him.

"Liv…" Cragen started.

"I have to use the bathroom." Olivia tried to push herself out of the chair, struggling to handle her own weight. Cragen lent her a hand, pulling her up. As he did so, Olivia took a quick, sharp breath. He could tell something was hurting her.

"Your back hurts, doesn't it?" She didn't answer him, just walked into the bathroom that was in the room.

Cragen knew it would be no easy task getting her to go home, but she needed to. Olivia didn't sleep enough or eat enough when everything was normal, he couldn't imagine how little she was doing both now. She never reacted well under stress; she wouldn't do anything until the situation was resolved. But this time, she wasn't only responsible for herself and he knew she was aware of that but that didn't mean she would take care of it.

Olivia stepped out of the bathroom and stood there. Cragen turned to look at her. She had tears in her eyes.

"Yes, okay. My back is killing me, I can't even breathe without it hurting because I've been sleeping in that chair. And I'm completely starving, I've probably eaten maybe 3 meals this week and I know I need some real food. I'm pretty sure I only slept three hours last night, same goes for every night this week. And I know you think it's awful and that I need to take care of myself for my daughter. But I can't bear to leave him. This may be the last time I get to spend with him." Olivia wiped the tears falling down her cheeks.

"Olivia, I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. But I don't think you are going to miss anything in 12 hours. Please just let me take you home." Cragen pleaded with her.

"I don't know." Olivia was hesitant. Going home and sleeping in her own bed sounded great, but what if something happened with Brian? What if he woke up? Or took a turn for the worse? She wouldn't be there for him.

"Olivia, you need to go home. I will pick you up in the morning and bring you back. Whatever you need, but just let's take you home." Cragen was almost begging at this point.

"Fine, fine. Let's go then." Olivia was a little relieved to finally be going home. She didn't want to leave Brian, but she didn't think she could handle spending another night in her chair.

They left the hospital, got in Cragen's car and headed to Olivia's apartment, arriving there 20 minutes later. Cragen helped Liv out of the passenger seat and went with her up to the apartment, making sure she got in okay. When he knew she was good, Cragen left leaving Olivia alone.

She was exhausted and hungry and a hot bath sounded great, she didn't know where to start. Olivia felt almost out of her element in her own apartment, having not been there for a week made it an odd experience being back for the first time.

Because her stomach was growling and she knew that, not only her but the baby as well, needed to eat, she started with food. All that was in the fridge was lettuce, tomatoes, a couple of carrots, and a random assortment of lunch meat for sandwiches. So the obvious choice was to make herself a sandwich. She also found a box of crackers in one of the cupboards and got some of those as well.

When she finished eating, she moved on to taking her hot bath. As bad as her back was hurting, she couldn't wait to slip into the steaming water and relieve some of the badgering pain.

Her bath did just that. As soon as she got in the relief swelled through her body, letting her finally relax. She stayed in the tub until the water became cold, not wanting to get out seeing as it was the only thing to stop her back pain. But she did finally get out of the bathtub and got dressed in a pair of leggings and oversized t-shirt that belonged to Brian.

Olivia finally made her way to bed, exhaustion taking over her body. The bed was so much better than her chair at the hospital. The only thing missing was her boyfriend's warm body. But as much as she missed him, she was too tired to start thinking about that situation. She rolled over to lay on her side, facing Brian's side of the bed. She put the extra pillow between her legs, for some reason it seemed to help her comfort level as she slept, a tip from Dr. Matthews. Her eyes closed almost immediately as her head hit the pillow. That night, she slept the best she had all week, if not all of her pregnancy.

Olivia had been sleeping soundly when she was woken up the following morning by the ringing of her phone. She looked over at the alarm clock sitting on the bedside table, it 6:30 in the morning, who was calling her? And more importantly why?

She had left her phone in her purse last night, not wanting to be bothered by the technology.

It quit ringing as she was trying to get herself out bed. These days that was not the simplest task, her belly made it hard for her to get up from a sitting position, let alone a laying position.

Since it had stopped ringing and she knew she wouldn't be answering it, she headed to the bathroom first. As she was washing her hands, the phone started to ring again. This time, Liv moved as fast as she could towards her purse sitting on the kitchen counter. She made it just in time, answering on the last ring.

"Hello?" Olivia answered.

"Is this Olivia Benson?" A woman's voice questioned her on the other line.

"This is she." Liv didn't recognize the woman's voice making her wonder who it was.

"This is Riley Grant, your boyfriend's nurse at Mercy-General. I was calling to let you know

he's woken up."

Olivia was too shocked to say anything. She knew that as soon as she left, he would wake up. But that didn't matter now. All that mattered was that he was awake and she wasn't going to be alone. Her daughter would have her daddy.

"Thank you." Olivia hung up the phone, knowing it was rude to cut the young nurse short, but right now she didn't care. She had to shower and change quickly. She wanted to get back to the hospital as soon as possible. She couldn't wait to finally see those beautiful hazel eyes.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Olivia made it to the hospital in less than an hour, running, as fast a 29 week pregnant woman could, from the parking garage to his room.

When she got in, the doctor was just finishing up checking on him. He left as Olivia sat down in her seat next to the bed.

"Oh Brian, I'm so sorry I wasn't here. I knew I shouldn't have gone home, but Cragen insisted and I was really tired, but I knew as I left you would wake up. I'm so sorry, Bri." Olivia rambled.

"Liv, baby, you're fine." His voice was hoarse from not speaking in over a week.

"I'm not fine, I should have been here." Olivia felt awful. As much as she really did need to go home the night before, she knew she would have stayed by his side. She should have been there, she should have been the first thing she saw when he woke up. 

"Olivia. Calm down. I'm glad you weren't here, because that meant you were at home taking care of yourself and my daughter like you should be." Brian grabbed her hand, holding it in his.

"I would have been here if it hadn't been for Cragen dragging me home. But this chair was just not cutting it anymore, anyway." Olivia explained.

"I heard about you and that chair." Brian chuckled. "My nurse told me you spent every night this week in that chair."

"Of course I did. I wasn't going to leave you." She knew he'd be upset when he found out she's slept in the chair.

"I would much rather have had you at home sleeping in your own bed rather than be uncomfortable, but it really doesn't surprise me you wouldn't leave." Brian gave her a smirk.

"Enough about me. How are you feeling? Is there anything I can get you?" Olivia asked. 

"I'm fine, just short of breath." Brian did actually feel pretty good for just being shot. He was very sore and short of breath, but he wasn't really having any pain. He was just happy to see Liv and have her with him. "Could you get me some water? My mouth is really dry."

"Of course." There was a cup sitting on the counter in the room. Olivia filled it up and handed to Brian.

The pair spent the rest of the morning sitting and talking with each other. Olivia filled Brian in on the week he missed, although there wasn't much that happened. At least nothing she knew about, she had been pretty isolated herself this last week.

As the afternoon rolled around, Brian was starting to get tired, so Olivia left him to take a nap and she went to the hospital cafeteria to get herself something to eat.

Olivia sat by herself in the cafeteria, eating her salad and drinking a cup of coffee. She was enjoying her lunch, when she saw Nick walking towards her.

"Hey Liv." The male detective pulled out a chair and sat down at the table.

"Hi, Nick. What are you doing here?" Olivia was caught off guard by her partner's presence.

"I just thought I would come see you and see how Brian doing. His nurse told me you were here." In all honesty, Nick was worried about his partner. He knew how stressed she had been and he wanted to check up on her.

"Well it's nice of you to come. Brian woke up this morning. So thats really good. He's taking a nap right now." Olivia wasn't stupid, she knew Nick was really there to check up on her, probably sent by Cragen.

"Yeah, Cragen told me you texted him this morning about Brian. I'm really happy he's going to be here for the two of you." Nick motioned to Olivia's ever growing abdomen.

"That makes two of us. Do you want to come back up with me?" Olivia asked him as she stood up to throw her garbage away.

"Sure, that'd be great." Nick followed Olivia to the elevators and up to Brian's room.

The nurse was switching out his IV bag as the two walked in. She quickly finished up, checked the other machines he was hooked up to, and left all 3 alone in the room.

"Look who I found." Olivia smirked at Brian.

"Hey man. You look good for just being shot." Nick joked with Brian. The two had a rocky past with one and other. They had worked through most of it and had just moved on. Nick knew what Brian meant to Liv and he didn't want any animosity between them for their relationship's sake.

"Thanks. I'm not sure I feel as good as I look, but thanks anyway." Brian didn't always care for Nick, they had their issues in the past. But like Nick, he knew there wasn't anything he could do about Amaro being his girlfriend's partner. So if Nick was going to be nice, he would be nice back. He also knew it made Liv happy to have them be cordial with each other.

The three sat in the room and talked for a while. Olivia and Nick discussed the squads most recent case. Olivia was a little upset she was missing out on being at the precinct and interrogating or just helping with the case, but she also knew she wouldn't want to be anywhere except with Brian.

As they chatted away, Brian began to cough. It was a short raspy cough. Olivia grabbed his cup and filled it with water, giving it to him. But the coughing was so persistent he couldn't even swallow.

The coughing soon turned into short gasps for air, like he couldn't inhale.

All of a sudden the heart monitor Brian was hooked to, started beeping like crazy and both Olivia and Nick could see his heart rate dropping.

In seconds, a doctor and 2 nurses came rushing into the room, as they frantically tried to figure out what was causing the slowed heart rate.

"What's happening?" Olivia was starting to panic, she could tell by the look the nurses and doctor were giving each other, that whatever was going on was not good.

"I'm going to need to ask both of you to leave." One of the nurses told Nick and Olivia as she tried to usher them out the door.

"I am not leaving him! What is wrong?!" Olivia was not going to leave Brian.

"Ma'am." The nurse started, but she was interrupted by the consistent beeping of the heart monitor, a flat line running across the screen.

"Somebody call a code blue!" Olivia heard the other nurse yell.

"Miss, I really need you to leave." The nurse tried to walk her out of the room. 

"What's wrong?!" Olivia begged her.

"I wish I could tell you but I don't know. Whatever it is, it's not looking good."

"No! No. You have to save him." Olivia screamed into the room, letting all the doctors and nurses that now flooded the room because of the code blue, that they better be putting in their best effort.

"We'll do everything we can." The nurse told her.

"No, you will save him!" Olivia insisted as nurse nodded her headed and enters the room to help her fellow colleagues.

Nick was standing outside the room. Olivia looked at him and broke, tears streaming down her face. 

Nick pulled her into a hug, as she wept into his jacket.

"What if he's not okay? What if he dies?" Olivia muffled, her face still pressed into Nick's jacket.

He just sighed not knowing what to say, he knew whatever had just happened was not good.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 **

A week; a whole week had gone by since Brian's life flashed before Olivia's eyes and she was still trying to recover from the traumatic event.

Although, the nurse kept her word and saved Brian, Olivia couldn't shake the feeling of almost losing her best friend again.

Olivia had spent 3 hours in the waiting room bawling over what might possibly happen to Brian that night. Nick sat with her the whole time, not leaving even for a minute; he was going to be there for his partner and friend. Olivia was so grateful to have him there with her, even if they didn't exchange a single word in those 3 hours, just his presence helped her. They both were more than relieved when Brian's surgeon came out from the OR and informed that the surgery was a success and that he would indeed be okay.

The problem had been another bleed in Brian's heart. It had started slowly, but soon began to affect him causing the coughing fit, shortness of breath, and the few moments his heart had stopped completely. The same surgeon as before had been able to stop the bleed again and this time placed a stint in Brian's heart because of the extensive damage to his heart from the bleeding.

And so far, so good; Brian had become very stable over the week. He didn't have to be on Oxygen anymore and he had even been able to get out of bed and walk around a little bit. The doctor had said as long as he kept this up, he would be going home within the next couple of days, and both Olivia and Brian were so happy about that.

Although Olivia wanted to be with Brian, they had agreed that she would only stay during the days. From morning to late evening, Olivia spent her time with Brian at the hospital, and nights were spent at home getting some rest. She had her reservations about not being there all the time, after what happened when she went home the first time, but she had soon realized that is was much better for her to be getting as much rest as possible while she could, because in 6 to 10 weeks, their daughter wouldn't be allowing either of them much in the way of sleep.

This morning, the same nurse that promised to save Brian was on call and taking care of him again. She came and checked on his breathing, his heart rate, and just to make sure he was comfortable. After what happened and after seeing Olivia's reaction to his relapse the last week, she knew how important these two were to each other, she wanted to make sure nothing was missed with Brian that could put him back in surgery, or worse cost him his life.

"Alright, Brian everything is still looking really good. My guess would be you'll be out in at least 2 days." She put her stethoscope back around her neck.

"Sounds great to me!" Brian was dying to get out of the hospital, get home and get better, so he could go back to work. He had just earned back his detectives shield and he wanted to be putting it to use. He also wanted to help Liv set up the nursery and finish getting everything else ready; that was the most important thing.

"Thanks, Hannah." Olivia said to the nurse as she walked out of the room. They were all on a first name basis after all the events that had gone on and the time that had been spent together.

Olivia stood up from her seat, shifting her weight back on forth between feet. She had been doing way too much sitting lately and her Braxton Hicks contractions were at their worst.

"Braxton Hicks?" Brian questioned, already knowing the answer. Olivia acted the same way every time they started.

"Yes. I am already so tired of these things already." Olivia huffed as she began to pace the floor in front of Brian's bed, the same thing she had started doing when her little movements weren't enough to control them.

"Maybe now would be a good time to go on a walk?" Brian knew that walking and lots of movement was the only thing, besides time, that stopped her Braxton Hicks. He knew they didn't hurt her, but he did know how much they annoyed her, so if walking was going to help, they were going to walk.

"That would be so great." Olivia just wanted to stop them today and walking would more than likely do that.

Every day since his first time getting out of bed and walking around the floor after the surgery, Brian would get out of bed and he and Olivia would take a walk around the hospital, sometimes getting coffee for Liv or a meal for both of them in the cafeteria. His doctor had told him he would slowly have to build up his stamina before he could jog or run again, so by walking a lot and increasing the distant he walked, he could do so.

While on their walks, Brian and Olivia didn't do much but discuss everything baby related. And today wasn't any different.

As they walked today, they discussed the ever complicated topic of baby names. They hadn't discussed names since before Brian was shot, but the topic had been on Olivia's mind a lot lately. She knew they needed to decide soon or their little girl would be coming home nameless.

"I just don't understand why you want her to have the same name as every other little girl born in America." Olivia had made a list of names she really liked. But Brian had other ideas. His favorites included Emma, Ava, Sophia, and Mackenzie; none of which Olivia was even willing to consider.

"I don't want our daughter to be made fun of because she has some weird name." Brian argued

"I'm not planning on naming my child after a direction or animal or some type of food, Brian. I just want something unique." Olivia didn't understand why Brian thought she was going to pick some off the wall name, no one would respect.

"Fine. What's on that list of yours?" Brian knew he probably wouldn't win the fight over baby names, but he wasn't going to give up quite yet.

Olivia took her phone out of her pocket and pulled up the list she kept in her notes app. "Jessie, Blake, Paxton, Everly, Oakley, Isla, Spencer, Tanith, and Lucia." Olivia really liked her list of names. She had taken a lot of time to research names online and go through the latest baby name books, before she narrowed it down to the . She wasn't going to let Brian win; she was getting her way with her daughter's name.

"Last time I checked, Spencer and Blake were not girl's names." Brian didn't hate any of the names Olivia had listed off, but they certainly weren't any of his favorites.

"That's the point. There's a whole trend with unisex baby names and I really like the idea of boy's names for girls." Olivia explained.

"I know you do, that's why they're on your list. None of them are awful; we'll have to think about it, though." Brian didn't want to rush the decision. He wanted both of them time to think about all their top choices.

"Okay, that's fine, just as long as you keep an open mind." Olivia just wanted a fun and different name for their child and no matter what Brian said that's what was going to happen. She was the one who had to deliver the child, she certainly deserved more say so in her name. But for now she would let Brian feel like he had some say.

The couple made their way back to Brian's room, as he was getting tired and Olivia was hungry, so she was going to let him nap while she got herself some lunch.

As Brian, settled into bed, slowly falling asleep, Olivia couldn't help but smile to herself. She was so lucky to have such a great guy in the first place, but she was even luckier to still have him with her today. These last weeks could have been filled with mourning his loss, but instead it had been filled with improvements, walks, and baby names, all of which Olivia was very grateful for.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

"Liv, are you almost ready?" Brian sat in the living room waiting for his girlfriend to finish getting dressed and ready.

Olivia stood in their bedroom still sporting a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt. "I'm getting there." She answered.

Her hair and makeup was done, but she felt like she had nothing to wear. Being 8 months pregnant made it very difficult to find things to wear. It made it even more difficult to find something dressy to wear. Liv had purchased a few maternity dresses, just in case she would need to get dressed up, but now that she actually had to get dressed up, she felt like she had nothing and that nothing looked good.

Brian had informed her at the beginning of the week that they were going out for early celebration dinner on Saturday. They were celebrating Brian's return to work.

It had been two weeks since he had come home from the hospital and he was feeling really good. At the two week point he went back to the doctor and was cleared to go back to work. He had to be on desk duty for now, but he didn't care as long as he could be at the precinct and be involved in cases. So he told Olivia that they were going to go out and celebrate. Little did Olivia know, that although it was celebratory dinner, it wasn't just celebrating Brian's return to work.

Brian got up from the couch and made his way into the bedroom, where Olivia was still standing in front of the closet, yoga pants and all, not any closer to being dressed.

"Why are you still wearing that?" Brian didn't understand why she wasn't dressed.

"Because when you weigh ten and half tons and look like you are hiding a basketball under your shirt, it's not the all that easy to find something to wear." As much as Olivia was trying not to worry about how she looked or how much weight she gained, it was hard for her when certain things wouldn't fit or something was a little tight.

Brain walked up to her, wrapping his hands around her waist. "You do not weigh 10 tons, you've only gained 20 pounds, a 1/3 of that is our daughter. And that so called basketball is filled with a baby. You look perfect Liv."

"I just feel so... large." Olivia knew Brian was being sincere, but it was hard to deal with all the changes her body was going through.

"You are pregnant, not fat." Brain assured her. "Now, what about that black dress you bought when we went shopping?"

"That's my best option I think." Olivia had thought about that dress when she was trying to decide.

"Okay, then you can get changed and I will be waiting for you." Brian kissed her, letting go of her waste, and leaving the room.

10 minutes later, Olivia emerged from the bedroom all dressed and ready to go.

Brian's jaw dropped when he saw her walk into the living room. Her black dress was all lace with a v-neck that plunged just slightly, it was just tight enough to show off her curves and baby bump, and she wore red flats for a pop of color.

"Olivia you look perfect." Brian couldn't believe he got to go to dinner with her, let alone call her his girlfriend.

"Thank you. I still feel like a beached whale, but thank you, babe." She put her black blazer over dress and Brian grabbed her purse handing it to her, and the two headed to the restaurant.

They got there around 5 and Brian was so excited for Olivia to see what was really planned.

When Brian told the hostess their party name, she knew exactly where to take the couple.

As they followed the hostess through the restaurant, passing by table after table, Olivia was beginning to wonder what was going on. Why were they going to the back?

"Right through those doors." The hostess had stopped and pointed to two double doors that led to a back party room.

"Thank you." Brian told her. The hostess nodded and left the couple.

"Brian what is going on? Why did we need to rent a whole room for ourselves?" Olivia was completely confused at this point.

Brian just smirked at her, not giving her an answer. Instead he just led her through the double doors into the room.

Olivia's mouth fell agape as soon as she entered the room. She couldn't believe her eyes.

The room was filled with pink and white balloons, presents filling one corner of the room, a cake sitting on a table, and a banner hung from one corner of the back wall to another that read "It's A Girl". Besides being filled with decorations, the room was filled with people. There was Cragen and Ilene, Amanda, Fin, Nick, Melinda, and even Casey Novak, former ADA for the special victims unit, was there.

"Oh my gosh. You guys." Olivia was stunned. She was so surprised.

"We knew if we told you that we wanted to throw you a baby shower, you would of told us no. So we decided you were getting one, whether you wanted it or not." Amanda told her.

"And you knew all about this?" Olivia turned to look at Brian.

"Yep! Amanda's right, you never would have let them throw you one, so we had to surprise you." Brian knew Olivia was not expecting a shower.

"Thank you so much, you guys." Olivia could not believe she was lucky enough to have such a great squad, who were in turn such a great group of friends.

The group spent the evening eating dinner and cake, opening gifts, and socializing, Olivia was happy to catch up with Casey. It had been a while since she had seen the lawyer and it was great to have her there at the shower.

Although they really didn't need anything more for their little girl, they came home with many great gifts from their friends. Cragen, with Ilene's help, had picked out a couple cute little outfits, Fin got her a pair of pink Converse and pink Vans she would have to grow into, Nick, who had some baby experience, gave a car seat cover and receiving blankets, and Casey got them a gift basket filled with onsies, socks, headbands, and Johnson's baby products. But it was Amanda that got the best gift. It was a navy blue onsie, with sparkly pink writing across the front that read NYPD and on the back it read future detective. Both Brian and Liv absolutely loved it.

Later that night, as the couple was going to bed, and Liv was looking at the gifts sitting in their room, she couldn't help but be thankful for their great friends. It was great to know they would always be there, not just for her and Brian, but for their daughter.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

The last month had been filled with many, many, baby preparations.

Brian and Olivia knew that as soon as Olivia hit 36 weeks, the baby could be there at any time. So they were going to be prepared for whatever was thrown their way.

The crib had been delivered, along with the changing table they ended up ordering, and they had found a dresser to match the other pieces. They purchased a bassinet, as well, for their own room.

Cragen has come over one weekend, when the unit's case load was light, and helped Brian put together all the furniture, since Olivia, at 9 months pregnant, couldn't really be much help in furniture assembly. The guys had gotten the crib, changing, table, and the stroller assembled within in afternoon's time and everything had been put in the second bedroom of the apartment.

Their guest room would now be their daughter's bedroom. They had painted it a light grey, to match the white and grey, chevron patterned bedding they found for the crib. They had picked up a white, plush, rocking chair, to match the white furniture. To make the room a little girlier, Olivia added a little pink where ever she could, pink pillows on the rocker, a pink rug in front of the crib, and when they actually, if they ever, picked out a name, they would put it in pink block letters above the crib.

Now that everything at home was almost completely under control, it was all work, work, work. Between Brian and Olivia is seemed like only one person was home at a time. Olivia was working all that she could now, seeing as there would 3 months straight she wouldn't be doing any working. And the caseload at work was very conducive for Liv's want to work. Although at times it was hard for her to keep up, she was starting to notice a real change in her energy level, she kept at it. Doing whatever she could at the precinct.

The month had been filled with plenty of new cases to keep the whole squad going. It seemed like there was a sudden spike in domestic violence and sexual assault cases, with a few child abuse cases thrown in there. But the tasks of going to crime scenes, talking to friends and family, interrogating, and picking up suspects were keeping the team extremely busy.

That latest case, though, had involved every member of the squad and everyone was working hard to put an end to it.

The case involved a young woman, late 20's, who had been raped by her the father of her children and ex-boyfriend. The man had gotten into her apartment by picking the lock and held her captive for nearly 12 hours before leaving her tied to her own bed. A neighbor found her and called 911. Since that phone call, the SVU detectives had been searching for this guy. He had a record and the rape kit determined it was him who had raped the victim. But every time they got a new lead or they thought they had him, he would just disappear.

Olivia walked into the precinct, just hoping today would be the day they got the right lead and found the bastard. She wanted justice for the victim and that would only happen if the perpetrator was behind bars. She also wanted to get this case over with, her paperwork was mounting and she had so many things to do that she couldn't focus on because the case was taking up so much if her time.

Coffee in hand, Olivia entered the squad room, only to find her whole team standing around discussing, what she figured was the case.

Olivia placed her purse in her desk draw and dropped her jacket on the desktop. "What's up, guys?" Olivia joined the group in the middle of the room.

Cragen looked at her. "There's been a change in the case." She could tell by his face that there was more than just a change with the case.

"What do you mean change?" Olivia questioned.

"They found Douglas Brant." He was the perp and rapist.

"That's great!" Olivia was pleasantly surprised.

"No, it's not." Fin retorted.

Olivia looked at him. "Alright, seriously what is going on?" Olivia was becoming aggravated. There was obviously something else going on.

"It's a captive situation. He's got Elizabeth and her kids at gunpoint in her apartment." Cragen informed the lead detective.

"So what's going on? Have you sent over a negotiator?" Olivia was confused as to why the whole team was sitting around talking instead of taking action.

"He won't talk to a negotiator. There's only one person he'll talk to." This was the part Cragen didn't want to tell Liv.

"Then send whoever he'll talk to." She didn't care who it was, they needed to go talk to this psycho.

"We don't think it's the best idea to send this person over there." Cragen stated. 

"Who the hell does he want to talk to?"

"You." Cragen dropped the bomb.

Olivia just stared at him. Why did this guy want to talk to her? She had never spoken to him, let alone seen him, so how did he know Olivia was the one searching for him? It frightened the detective to know that this guy knew so much about her case.

"Now you see the issue. I don't want to send you over there." Cragen didn't want to send his best detective, who happened to be 9 months pregnant, into such a dangerous situation.

"No. I'm going." Olivia didn't hesitate. She knew that it was probably not the smartest decision but if it's what she had to do, she was going to do it. She wasn't just going to spare the lives of the 3 people, two of them being children, in that apartment.

"Are you sure? Liv this could go bad, do you really think you need to be there?" Cragen wasn't surprised she hadn't backed down.

"Yes. I'm going." Olivia said without hesitation. "I'm not letting that man win again. He's going down this time."


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

The whole team went to the scene. They were not going to let Olivia be alone in this.

They got there, to find a street filled with NYPD officers and their vehicles. Cragen and Fin set themselves up in a van, filled with computers displaying images of the apartment building from hacked security cameras. Nick and Amanda would be placed at the front and back entrances of the building. They found an extra-large sized Kevlar vest one of the officers had and helped Liv get velcroed into it.

"Liv, are you sure this is what you want to do?" Nick didn't like to question his partner, but the whole team wanted to ask her the same question. He knew what was on the line now and it wasn't just Olivia's life.

"I know you are think I'm crazy, or stupid, for doing this, but if I have the opportunity to help Elizabeth and those kids, I'm going to take it." Olivia reassured her partner. Although, the more she thought about it and the more everyone question her, the more she was rethinking her decision. She wasn't used to thinking about another person's life beside her own. Another little human being who was relying on her and there was always the chance in hostage situations that something could go down. But it was too late to back out. She was going to go in, do what she was trained to do, and get herself, her daughter, Elizabeth, and her children out safely.

Amanda walked around to the back of the building and got in position. Nick followed Olivia up to the 3rd floor of the building where the apartment was located. He watched as Liv walked down the hallway and when she gave him the signal that she was in place, he went back down and covered the front door.

Olivia took a deep breath and knocked on the apartment door. "Mr. Brant?"

"Who is it?" He yelled through the closed door.

"It's detective Benson. You asked for me." Olivia could tell this man had some doubt about the situation he had gotten himself into.

"Do not come in." Brant sounded hesitant. He obviously hadn't really thought through this plan and his wavering voice showed his worries.

"I'm not coming in, Douglas." Olivia assured him. "I'm here to talk to you."

"There is nothing to talk about. I'm not letting them go." Brant sounded unsure of his statement.

"Douglas, you can't stay in there forever." Olivia thought that if she could just convince him that this couldn't last forever, he would just give up, maybe he would see how dumb all of this was and just surrender. But Olivia knew that was what would happen in the perfect world, probably not the real world.

"We can and we might." Brant retorted.

"You were the one who wanted to talk to me; I'm just here to help you. And it's not going to work out if I'm out here and you're in there." Olivia tried to explain.

"Fine you can come in. The door is unlocked. But you need to leave your gun outside."

Olivia followed Brant's instructions. She opened the door to the apartment to see him standing there, his own gun in hand, pointed towards the couch where Elizabeth sat with her kids. He looked at her watching as she reached for her gun. "I'm putting it down." She pulled the gun out of the holster and placed the weapon on the floor outside the door. Olivia then entered the apartment, closing the door behind her.

"You can stay right there. Do not move." Brant was trying to show control.

"I'm not moving. I'm not going anywhere. I just want to talk this out." Olivia was going to allow him the control. If she tried to take over, he would feel threatened and that would anger him making the situation worse.

"We'll talk, when I'm ready to talk." The armed man gave Liv the ultimatum.

Three hours. It had been a whole three hours. A whole, long three hours since Olivia entered the apartment.

Cragen and Fin, while watching the video in their van, had watched Olivia enter the apartment. They had both held their breath as she placed her gun on the floor and entered unarmed. Both of them felt it was a mistake, but Olivia had been in hostage situations before, she could handle herself. They just knew that the stakes were much higher for the hostages and for Olivia herself. It would forever be on Cragen's shoulders if he let Olivia go into that apartment and something happen to her or the baby.

Nick and Amanda were both aware of Olivia's entrance into the apartment. Fin radioed them, letting them know that she was now in the same room as the armed psycho. Nick was pissed by her decision. He knew this "thinking about your child first" thing was hard for Olivia to adjust to, but he was mad at her for not thinking through this and not thinking about all the possible consequences. Amanda was worried, along with the rest of the team, but she knew that Olivia was a big girl, who had plenty of experience, and if she had really felt that her life was in danger she wouldn't have entered the apartment. But no amount of experience could calm the nerves of all of them, including Liv.

Olivia had been so sure about going in when they were at the precinct, then when they got to the scene she began to question it, and now that she had spent 3 hours in the apartment in silence, she was regretting her decision. She had been standing at the door not moving for 180 minutes and her body was aching, screaming for her to sit down. There were sharp pains shooting through her lower back, her feet were beginning to swell and her boots left no room for it. But worst of all, her Braxton Hicks were really acting up; they were constantly causing her to shift in her spot, creating even more discomfort for the pregnant detective. She just wanted it all to be over. Olivia wasn't one to complain, but this whole pregnancy thing was kicking her butt right now and the timing could not have been any worse.

"We need to talk Douglas. I want to help you with whatever it is that you want." Olivia was trying not to let her aches and pains stop her from resolving the issue.

"There is nothing to talk about! You can't do anything for me. Nothing will get us out of this situation. Nothing. I'm not going to jail for this and I'm not going to jail for rape either. It's not going to happen and if I let you and Elizabeth go with the kids, I will have to go to jail and I just can't let that happen." Brant ranted. His reaction was actually quite typical. What criminal ever wanted to go to jail? None that Olivia had ever run into.

"I can help you. I can talk to the DA. I can talk to my squad. I can try and help you get out of this. This doesn't have to end badly." Olivia could see he was slowly spiraling downwards. He was convinced that he wasn't getting out free of punishment and that was not what he wanted.

"You cannot help me! No one can help me. I cannot let them go. I cannot sit in a jail cell for the rest of my life." Brant was now yelling, his anger obviously growing.

"Please. We will work this out." Olivia could feel the tension growing and it was beginning to worry her. She couldn't let anything happen. She couldn't let down Elizabeth and the kids; she couldn't let down the rest of her team. But she certainly couldn't let Cragen down after he allowed her to follow through with this.

"NO!" Brant screamed at her.

Back in the van Cragen was starting to get antsy, as was Fin. They both knew that hostage situations could take some time, but they hadn't heard a single word in the three hours and it was starting to alarm them.

Amanda and Nick were on the same page. They both felt that it had just been too much time not to hear anything.

As the team tried to keep their cool and stay in position, they heard shouting. They could only guess that it was coming from the apartment.

Cragen, fearing what would happen next, sent Amanda and Nick to intervene. But as the two cops met and made their way to the door there was a loud bang that echoed through the building, through the ears of both Nick and Amanda, who duct instinctively.

A gun shot.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

The gunshot reverberated through the building piercing the ears of Nick and Amanda, who were all too close to the deadly noise, and even reaching Cragen and Fin in their stationary van.

Fin and Cragen's first instinct were to run towards the sound. Both of them left the van and ran through the front entrance.

Nick and Amanda were way ahead of them. They had already been on the floor when the bullet left the gun. Their timing in entering the building was really good, almost lucky.

Nick ran ahead of Amanda, straight to the door of the apartment. He automatically kicked in the door, not waiting for anyone else.

The scene before him was a lot less terrifying than he had expected.

Laying on the floor was the body of Douglas Brant, a pool of blood surrounding his head from what must have been a self-inflicted gunshot. Olivia was kneeling in front of the couch where Elizabeth and her children looked stunned and scared, the act of someone committing suicide obviously very shocking to the family.

"Liv are you okay? Are they okay?" Nick rushed to his partner's side.

"We're all okay. Everyone is fine." Olivia assured him.

Nick bent over, giving Liv a hand and helping her up from the squatting position she was in. They then helped Elizabeth and the kids off the couch and walked them out of the apartment.

"Take them downstairs and go back to the precinct to give your statements. We'll finish up here." Nick was referring to Amanda who had joined them now.

"Thank you." Olivia held the hand of one child, while Elizabeth held the hand of the other and they made their way downstairs.

As the descended they ran into Cragen and Fin who were on their way up.

"You're okay." Cragen stared at Olivia.

"We're all fine." Olivia gave him a slight smile.

"Good. Good. Okay, let's get all of you back to the precinct and get your statements." Cragen turned to walk the other way with Liv and the victims.

Back at the precinct, later that afternoon, Olivia had finished all of her paperwork and she was contemplating what to do next. Everyone else was back from the scene and working away. But there were too many other things on her mind right now, for her to focus on working.

Olivia pushed herself up from her desk or at least tried to. Nick got up from his seat and went around to Olivia's desk, offering her his hand to help her up.

"Thanks." Liv told him.

Nick just nodded; his way of saying there was nothing to it.

Olivia walked up to Cragen's office door, knocking before entering. When she opened the door, she saw Cragen sitting at his desk, files covering the top of it.

He looked up to see his lead detective standing in front of him. "Liv, is something wrong?"

"No. I just need to talk to you about something." Olivia assured him.

"Okay. Why don't you sit down?" Cragen offered her the seat that sat in front of his oak desk.

"No thanks, of I sit down in that chair, I may never get back up." Olivia's size was obviously a struggle when it came to getting up from certain positions.

"So what do you want to talk to me about?" Cragen had no idea what was on the detective's mind. He knew that the day's events had really gotten to her and she was pretty shaken up.

"I think it's time I leave." Olivia told him.

"Leave?" Cragen was stunned.

"I don't mean leave the unit; I just mean go on maternity leave. After today, I realized what's at stake and I don't think I can handle another a month being this pregnant and still being on the job." Olivia explained.

"Oh okay. Well whatever you think is right for you Liv. I want you to be sure if your decision though. You have at least 3 months after the baby is born that you won't be working. I just don't want you to miss out on anything; I know you hate to just sit around. I can always put you on desk duty." Cragen didn't want Liv to go stir crazy sitting in her apartment, not being involved in any of the cases that would come in.

"I just don't think that I can stand to look at another case of rape or assault or some child being beat by their parent when I'm about to bring my daughter into this world." It was hard for Olivia to watch all the awful things she saw on the job and know that her daughter would be involved in the same world where all these things happened.

"Olivia I know what you see every day on this job and I know how much it can affect you. But you have to know that I will never let anything happen to that daughter of yours. Nobody in this squad will let anything happen to her. Okay? I want you to remember that." Cragen had a special bond with Olivia. He had spent all 15 years of her career with her and she was the closest thing to a daughter that he would ever have. He knew how much Olivia wanted to be a mother and how much this meant to her to finally be getting the opportunity. All he wanted was for her to be sure of herself.

"I know you guys are here and I'm so grateful for that, but it's just hard to get used to the idea of caring for someone else, someone that is expecting me to always know what's right and what needs to be done." Olivia looked at her captain.

"This is a lot for you to deal with, I understand that. But Olivia, if anyone should be a mother it's you. I have watched you for years deal with victim after victim, child and adult, you are ready for this. It's going to be an adventure, but Liv you are ready for this. You're ready for a challenge outside of this precinct." Cragen moved from behind the desk and stood in front of Olivia.

She just stared at him. Olivia had always been fatherless and no one had ever filled that spot, until she joined SVU. Cragen was able to fill some of the roles a father played and she had always considered herself lucky to have spent her career with this man. But to hear him tell her that she was meant to be a mom and meant to be a parent to her daughter, made her feel like she was making the right decision.

"Thanks captain." Olivia nodded to Cragen and walked out of his office.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Olivia knew that she made the right decision about going on maternity leave as far as her physical state was concerned, but as for her mental state, she was going crazy.

The whole instinctual nesting period you always heard women going through, was a real thing. Olivia had cleaned every inch of the apartment, from top to bottom in the last two weeks she had been off work. She had put all the baby clothes from her shopping trips and the baby shower away in the dresser in the second bedroom. She had even made a weeks-worth of meals and frozen them for when they would get home from the hospital. And now she just didn't know what to do anymore.

Today, however she was grateful to be at home with the ability to do absolutely nothing but lay around.

Olivia had not felt this bad her whole pregnancy. To begin with she had slept a whole 3 hours the night before because of discomfort, a kicking baby, and endless trips to the bathroom. Her back ached constantly with the occasional sharp pain that shot through lower back if she moved wrong. She kept having Braxton Hicks contractions, which in turn led to a lot of pacing the apartment to get them to stop. And because she was on her feet, they were as swollen as ever, swollen to the point where they hurt.

When Brian got home from work that night he was surprised when he didn't see Olivia in the kitchen making dinner, working on paperwork at the dining room table, or in the living room watching TV.

But as he walked into the bedroom, going to change out of his button up and slacks into sweats and a t-shirt, he found Olivia laying on the bed, he laptop sitting next to her, while she watched something on Netflix.

"Hi babe." Brian walked up to Olivia giving a quick peck and moving to the dresser to grab his change of clothes.

"Hey, how was work?" Olivia asked him.

"Long and boring. Would rather have been at home with you." He told her.

"I doubt that. Anything is better than being stuck in here with nothing to do." Olivia would much rather have been at work.

Brian just chuckled. He knew how annoyed Liv was having to stay at home and take it easy, but he also knew that she couldn't be working at the point in her pregnancy.

While Brian was in the bathroom changing, Olivia stopped her show on the computer and shut the laptop, setting it on the night stand next to the bed.

Brian emerged, much more comfortable in his sweats and laid on the opposite side of the bed.

"How's my baby?" Brian asked her as he placed his hands on her baby bump. The baby kicking at the feel of his touch.

"She's kicking my butt today." Olivia informed him.

"That bad, huh?" He smirked at Liv. "You didn't sleep much did you last night?"

"None at all. I'm so tired of being exhausted and she really needs to stop using my bladder and ribs as a punching bag." Olivia wasn't one to complain, but the last few weeks of this pregnancy were awful.

"I know it sucks, but just think in two weeks or less, you'll finally get to hold her." Brian hated what Olivia had to go through. He felt so bad that he couldn't help her anyway.

"Let's hope for less." Olivia joked.

"Oh I forgot to tell you the other day I was looking through one of the name books and I ran across a few more that I liked." Brian was still hoping that Olivia would compromise a little.

"Here we go again." Olivia playfully rolled her eyes. "What are they?"

"Violet, Ellison, and Harper." Brain had improved his choices lately with some more original names, but they still just weren't exactly what Olivia wanted.

"Not bad. I like Violet, a lot, actually. I added it to my list the other day." Olivia was pleasantly surprised that her Brian actually agreed on a name. It was a monumental moment.

"That's it! We have decided!" Brian exclaimed.

"Hey, not so fast mister. I said I really liked it, just because we agree on something doesn't mean we have picked a name. I have a some others I would like to fight for." Olivia was entertained by Brian's enthusiasm. She knew how much it meant to him that they pick out a name, but she wasn't sold just yet.

"Okay. But it's a major contender" Brian told her. "What's you top choice as of right now?"

"Ooh that's hard. I would have to say Penelope." It was kind of classic, but still really adorable.

"I hate to say it, but I kind of like it." Brian admitted.

"Okay, so now we have a couple major contenders." Olivia was getting excited.

It was only a matter of weeks, or even days until they could actually give their daughter a name. But Olivia wanted to see their baby before picking out a name, she had to make sure that it suited the little girl.

"That's great. But I am starving, how about I order us some take-out?" Brian asked her, knowing Liv didn't really feel up to making dinner.

"It's okay, I can make us dinner." Olivia moved to get up out of bed.

"No, no, no. You can stay right where you are. You don't need to go to the trouble. Okay?" Brian told his pregnant girlfriend.

"Thank you." Olivia smiled, as Brian kissed her forehead, leaving the room to call in the to-go order.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Three weeks later and there was still no baby. Olivia was a week past her due date and needless to say she was unimaginably cranky about the whole situation.

They had a doctor's appointment on Olivia's due date, a week early. Dr. Matthews told them it could be any day now, but at that point Olivia wasn't dilated at all and she hadn't had any contractions. So the doctor told her not to push it too much, but that some light exercise like walking could help get the process going. If nothing happened within the next 10 days, Dr. Matthews was going to induce Olivia, but for now she told the eager couple not to worry about because a person's first baby was usually late.

So, because they didn't have any patience left, they walked. Every night Brian was able to be home, which was most nights that week, they had walked through the park across the street from the apartment. But after 8 days, it had still done no good.

Olivia just wanted it all to be over at this point. She felt like an obese duck, waddling everywhere and looking extremely awkward. And she thought her back had hurt or that her feet had been swollen before, but she had proven wrong. Her back never stopped hurting, no matter how she sat or laid and her feet were so big she couldn't tie her tennis shoes, because her feet wouldn't fit and she no longer had the ability to reach her own feet.

Olivia had spent all day on the couch waiting for Brian to get home. She was achy and tired and she just didn't feel like doing much of anything. There wasn't really anything else to do either. The baby's room was ready; the bassinet was set up in Olivia and Brian's bedroom; the house was clean, meals were cooked. As far as Olivia was concerned she earned a day on the couch with the TV and a marathon of her favorite show.

Around 5, Liv heard the lock turn and Brian walked through the door, shedding his shoes and work coat at the door.

"Hey babe." He leaned in for a kiss from Olivia, as she was still sitting on the couch. Too comfortable to get up and too pregnant to even try and get up on her own.

"Still nothing?" Brian asked her, referring to contractions or any other sign of labor.

"Absolutely nothing, nada, zip. If this child does not make her way out real soon, I will be forcing her out." Olivia wasn't messing around anymore. She was done being pregnant.

"I know you will." Brian laughed at his girlfriend, sitting down in the couch with her. "How about we eat a little dinner and then go for a walk?"

"Sounds good to me." Olivia answered. "Now help me get up and we can just reheat last night's leftovers." Brian grabbed Olivia a hands and pulled her up from the couch.

They ate their dinner and Brian changed into jeans and a t-shirt, all ready for their walk.

"Alright, are you ready to go?" Brian asked Olivia.

"Yep." Liv followed Brian to the door.

Brian stopped before opening the door. He placed a hand on Liv's baby bump. "Hey kid, I know you like it in there, but your momma and I would really like to meet you sometime soon. So how about you just cooperate and get the heck out." Brian told Olivia's belly.

Liv just laughed at him. "You better hope this baby listens to her Daddy." She would never admit it, but she loved when Brian talked to the baby, she thought it was pretty adorable. Although she would never tell Brian that's how she felt; it would make both of them look like softies.

The couple made their way, slowly because Olivia's waddling pace wasn't all that fast, through the park. The first part of their walk was the same as all their other ones, nothing happened. But as the headed towards home, things were a little different.

As they walked, Olivia stopped in her tracks, inhaling deeply.

"Liv, what's wrong?" Brian stopped alongside her.

She exhaled slowly. "I think I just had a contraction." Olivia stared at him wide eyed, unsure of how to react.

"Really?" Brian however was excited by it.

"I'm pretty sure. Let's keep going, see if I have anymore." Olivia had been so sure she was ready to have this baby, but now that it could be happening within hours, it scared her.

A few minutes later, Liv stopped once again. Inhaling and exhaling slowly. The contractions didn't hurt per say, they were just very uncomfortable causing a lot of pressure in her abdomen.

"Another one?" Brian questioned.

"Yeah, I think we might finally be getting there." Olivia told him, trying to hide her worry about what was happening. "Let's get home."

They had to stop two more times on the way home for Olivia's contractions. It was starting to look like they might finally be heading to the hospital. That was until they got home.

As soon as they got back to the apartment, the contractions had stopped. Olivia was once again irritated by the whole process.

"How about we watch a movie and see if they don't start up again." Brian suggested, knowing how annoyed Olivia was. He just wanted to meet their daughter and she was not cooperating, at all.

The couple sat through a movie on the couch, Olivia's feet in Brian's lap as he massaged them for her. The whole time was filled with not a single contraction.

As the movie finished and the credits were rolling, Brian's phone rang. He grabbed it out of his pocket and answered it. He had a quick conversation with whoever was on the other line before hanging up.

He looked over at Liv on the other side of the couch. She could tell by the look on his face, what he had to do.

"Do you really have to go back in? This late?" Olivia knew what the job entailed, she had done it every day for 15 years and she understood the commitment. But it was hard for her to be alone right now and after the few contractions she had, she was worried about what might happen.

"I know. This case is kicking our butts. I'm sorry, Liv. I could try and call back; see of someone can take it for me." Brian offered.

"No, it's okay. I understand." Olivia said.

"Are you sure? I really shouldn't be leaving you." Brian was torn. He knew they needed him at the precinct and they were so close to solving the case, but Olivia needed him just as much if not more.

"Really it's fine. Just don't be gone too long." Olivia assured him.

"I will certainly try." Brian walked out of the room, into the bedroom to change back into his work clothes.

He came back out into the living room after changing, kissed Liv, and left for the precinct. He was just hoping nothing happened while he was gone. It looked like everything had stopped for the night, but he knew anything could happen in a short amount of time. He just had to trust that Olivia was going to be okay.

Olivia sat in front of the TV for a little while longer, after Brian left. It was almost 10:30 before she got up to go to the bathroom and get ready for bed.

On her way to the bathroom, Liv stopped mid step. All of a sudden she felt a lot of pressure in her lower abdomen and pelvis, making her uncomfortable. She just figured it was another contraction, it felt similar to the ones she had earlier. As she finished her step and took another, though, she felt a gush fluid leave her body and run down her legs, onto the floor.

Olivia was too stunned to move. She didn't know how to react or what to do. She was 9 months pregnant, due any moment now, home alone with Brian at work, and her water just broke.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Liv was trying her best not to panic, but that was hard to do when she was about to have a baby.

She took a few deep breaths and made her way back into the living room to get her cell phone and call Brian. She stopped just short of the coffee table where her phone sat, a contraction making her pause. This on still wasn't painful, but even more uncomfortable than he ones earlier in the day.

When Olivia did reach her cell phone, she picked it up, unlocking it and called Brian. It rang for a while until she got his voicemail. She tried again, still no answer. She called his precinct next and there was still nothing. Where could he possibly be? As far as she knew he didn't have any undercover in the last few weeks and he had been really good about keeping his cell phone on him because he never knew when Liv might call him. The whole thing gave Olivia yet another reason to panic. How was she supposed to get anywhere now?

She thought through who she could call. Nick was her first idea, but if knew that Brian had left her home alone he would not be too happy with him. She didn't know if she really wanted to all Cragen and worry him with everything, so he was out. Her last options were Fin or Rollins. She knew Fin would come get her, but she felt that was a little bit awkward for both of them, so Amanda was the final choice. Olivia felt comfortable with it through, she was a woman and Amanda was pretty non-judgmental.

Liv called Amanda. It rang a few times, before she answered.

"Hello?" Amanda sounded tired. Olivia hadn't even taken into consideration the time. It was 11 already and she hadn't even thought about anybody being asleep.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?" Olivia felt bad and she was completely embarrassed.

"No, Liv you're fine. We're all still at the precinct. What do you need?" Amanda was taken aback by the late night phone call by her elder detective.

"Umm. I.. umm." Olivia couldn't even get the word out.

"Liv, spit it out." Amanda was so confused by the phone call.

"Uh, Brian had to go back to the precinct tonight and I was home alone. And I went to go to bed and my water broke." Olivia spit it out all at once.

Amanda wasn't sure how to react. Why had Brian gone back to work with Olivia like this? "Hey, Olivia, listen to me. I will be right there okay. Just try and stay calm, okay? It's going to be fine." Amanda assured her friend.

"Thank you." Olivia told her.

"No problem. Just hang in there, okay?" Amanda was worried for Olivia. She knew how strong Liv was, but she also knew how much this whole baby thing scared her and now this happened.

Olivia hung up the phone and sat down on the couch. She hadn't anymore contractions, but she was trying to stay comfortable for now.

Back at the precinct, as Amanda hung up, Nick was already question her about what was going on. "What did Liv want? What's wrong?" Nick was more protective of his partner than he would like to admit. He knew a lot about her and she knew that she wouldn't be calling to chat with Amanda.

"Nothing is wrong, per say." Amanda was trying to avoid explain to Nick, She knew his reaction wouldn't be too great.

"Per say? Amanda, I'm not stupid. What did Liv need?" Nick just wanted an answer. He wanted to help if he could.

Amanda sighed. "Her water just broke."

"That's great. So she's on her way to the hospital?" Nick asked.

"Umm, not quite." Amanda looked at Nick. She knew she couldn't lie to him. "She's home alone. Brian got called into work tonight and now she needs me to go get her."

"How could Cassidy just leave her?! He knew she was going to have this baby any time now!" Nick was furious. He knew Liv loved the man, but he couldn't stand him. How could he just leave his pregnant girlfriend to fend for herself? "I'm coming with you."

"You're not if you're going to act like this. Olivia is stressed enough she doesn't need your anger towards Brian to make things worse." Amanda wasn't letting Nick tag along like this. "I'm going to tell Cragen we need to go, okay? If you can calm yourself down enough by the time I get back, then you can come."

Amanda walked away towards Cragen's office, letting Nick cool off alone. She knocked on the captain's door before entering.

Cragen and Fin were sitting there, discussing the case. "Hey, Cap, we've got a situation." Amanda said to her boss.

"What kind of situation?" Cragen was a little worried by Amanda's behavior.

Amanda explained everything to him and told him that she and Nick were going to go pick Liv up and take her to the hospital.

"Okay you guys do that. Call me when you leave her apartment and we'll leave her to meet you at the hospital, okay?"

"Sounds good. I'll see you guys later." Amanda walked out of the office. She went to her desk and grabbed her purse and cell phone. Nick did the same, holstering his gun and putting his phone in his pants pocket.

"You calmed down?" Amanda questioned him.

"Yeah, I'm good. I just want to be there for Liv." He was going to put aside his differences and just be there for his partner, who really needed his support right now.

The pair got to Liv's apartment in a little over 15 minutes. They walked up the apartment door, surprised to find it open. They walked in to find Olivia on the couch, the TV going in front of her.

"Hey Liv." Amanda went around to the front of the couch, Nick following her. "How are you doing?"

Liv took a deep breath. "Fine, for now." She gave them a weak smile.

"Good. Now let's get you off that couch and changed into some dry clothes." Amanda told her, noticing Olivia's still wet sweatpants.

"That would be great. Thank you." Olivia said. "Now can you help me get up?"

Nick stepped in front of Amanda, grabbing Olivia's hands and helping her up. "You know it's all going to be okay." Nick whispered to his partner. She nodded her head slightly in response.

Amanda and Olivia made their way to the bedroom so Olivia could change into some dry clothes. Meanwhile, Nick called Brian, but he didn't answer, so he tried to keep his calm and leave him a simple message that they were taking Liv to the hospital and that he needed to meet them there ASAP.

The girls remerged, Liv in a dry pair of yoga pants, a t-shirt and her comfortable Nike's. Amanda had a small duffel bag on her shoulder, what must have been Olivia's hospital bag.

"Are we ready to go?" Nick questioned them.

"Please." Olivia told him.

They slowly made their way to Amaro's SUV they had driven, stopping once on the way down while Olivia had a contraction. She claimed that they still weren't painful, just uncomfortable, but both Nick and Amanda knew that wouldn't be lasting long.

When they got to the parked car in the parking garage, Nick helped Olivia get into the passenger seat, trying to make her as comfortable as possible. Amanda hopped in the backseat with the duffel bag and Nick got in the driver's seat, starting the car and backing out of the parking space. They were finally on their way. None of them had heard from Brian yet, but Amanda did call the hospital and tell them they were coming with Liv. Everything was getting into gear and it was all really happening. Olivia was going to have this baby, with or without Brian, she hoped with, in a few hours.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

They pulled into a parking spot in the hospital parking garage 15 minutes later. Olivia had two more contractions during their ride and all three of them were getting anxious about everything that was happening and what was to come.

Olivia was the most anxious out of all of them. She was the one who would be delivering her daughter within the next hours and she was scared out of her mind. She had no idea how fast anything would happen or how everything would play out. She didn't even know if Brian was going to be there. But for now she was trying to stay calm and worry about what she could control.

When they walked into the maternity ward, Cragen and Fin were already waiting for them, both of them seemingly anxious.

The men walked up to the rest of their team as they entered. Cragen went straight to Olivia, wrapping his hand around her waist to support her back and walked with her up to the check-in desk. Liv didn't question, didn't pull away, she didn't care anymore who was giving it to her, as long as someone was supporting her. 

Because Amanda had already called in for Olivia, check-in was simple and painless. A nurse came out to help Liv, who insisted she walk, to her room.

The whole team followed Liv and Cragen, but the nurse wasn't too fond of having 4 other people in the room. "Alright, I know you all want to be in there, but we like to keep it to only two people in the room at a time. So we've got one and we can only take on more of you."

Everyone looked at Liv. She didn't want to have to choose, but she knew she needed to. She figured since Amanda was who she called to come get her and the fact that Amanda was girl, so she had a little more understanding then Fin and Nick, she was her best bet to come with her.

"Amanda." Olivia let everyone know her decision.

Nick went up to his partner. "It's all going to be okay. I'll keep trying to get ahold of

Brian." Nick was a little relieved that he didn't have to go back with Liv. He did want to be there for his partner, but he didn't think he could handle watching her in pain.

Fin was with Nick on the relief part. He couldn't watch Olivia, a woman he had known for 14 years, in the delivery room. It made him feel awkward just thinking about it. But he wanted to say his goodbye, too. "You've got this, Liv. Now, tell that baby girl of yours to hurry up, so we can all meet her."

Liv chuckled at Fin. "Thanks guys." She said to both Nick and Fin.

The men watched as the nurse took Olivia, Cragen, and Amanda down the hall and around the corner to Liv's room.

Olivia's room looked like any other hospital room she had been in. It was very white and smelled sterile, a smell that was not favored by Liv.

The nurse gave Olivia a gown and helped her get changed into it. When Liv was changed, the nurse and Cragen helped her get into the bed. Which was actually incredibly uncomfortable for Liv, as her back was hurting already and lying on her back only increased the pressure she was feeling.

The nurse took Olivia's blood pressure and her pulse. She then hooked her up to a fetal monitor that would keep track of the baby's heart rate and Olivia's contractions. She also hooked Olivia to her own heart rate monitor, to make sure her own heart rate stayed where it should. She finished up with that and told Olivia the doctor would be with her shortly to check her.

Dr. Matthews came in 10 minutes later, dressed in blue scrubs, an outfit Olivia had not seen her in before.

"So it looks like this baby finally decided to meet everyone." Dr. Matthews joked with Olivia as she grabbed a pair of gloves and rolled a stool sitting in the room to the end of Olivia's bed. "I'm just going to check you and see if you're dilated and effaced at all, okay?"

Liv nodded. The doctor pushed up the sheets that hung over Liv's legs and checked her. "It looks like your about 40% effaced and 2 centimeters dilated. So you've got a ways to go alright? I'll be back within the next two hours. Is there anything I can do for you? Or any questions I can answer?" Dr. Matthews asked.

"I don't think so. Thank you." Olivia was grateful that Dr. Matthews didn't ask her where Brian was. She knew the doctor had noticed the absence of the baby's father, but she kept any questions she had to herself.

Dr. Matthews nodded and left the room, leaving Cragen, Amanda, and Liv alone in the room.

In the following hour, Olivia had gone from lying in bed to sitting on the edge of the bed. It seemed to help keep some of the extra pressure off her back and helped her to stay relaxed. Her contractions were about every 10 minutes, so they were still a ways apart. But they were slowly becoming more painful. The last couple had been more painful than uncomfortable and that only made Olivia's worries grow, as it indicated she was moving along with the whole process.

Amanda was quite unsure of what to do or how to help Liv. So far she seemed fine, she was talking to both herself and Cragen about normal things, some work related and some baby related things, but she knew that wouldn't last forever. Once the contractions really got intense, she didn't know how Olivia would react. For now, though if Olivia wanted to talk, she would talk.

"Are you sure there's nothing I can get for you?" Cragen had asked Liv that question at least 4 times since they had been alone in the room.

"Really, I'm fine right now. Have you heard from Brian yet?" Olivia asked her captain, hoping for some kind of contact.

"Not yet." Cragen watched Olivia's face fall, disappointed with his answer. "I'm sure we'll hear from him or see him any time now." Cragen felt awful about everything going on.

He knew what the job meant to Brian, it meant the same thing to himself, to Liv, to his whole team, but he just wished it had worked out differently for Liv and Brian's sake.

Olivia sat through another 30 minutes of contractions. She could tell they were beginning to get stronger and she could tell that this was going to be a long haul.

As, Olivia breathed through another contraction, Dr. Matthews walked through the door. "Hey, Olivia, how are you feeling?" Dr. Matthews came around to the side of the bed, placing a hand on Liv's shoulder.

The contraction finished and Olivia turned her head to look at the doctor. "I'm okay." Liv answered her.

"Just keep hanging in there. I'm going to check you again alright." Dr. Mathews helped Liv place herself back on the bed.

The doctor quickly checked her patient. "You're not quite 3 centimeters, yet and you're 50% effaced."

"That's it?" Olivia was slightly annoyed by her lack of progress.

"I'm sorry to say that's it. I know, it's going to seem like forever. But your first time can take a while. I'll be back to check on you later, for now just try to stay comfortable." With that Dr. Matthews left the three officers alone again.

"I think I'm going to see if Nick or Fin has heard from Brian. Do you need anything else?" Cragen asked once again.

"No, I'm really fine. Thank you though." Olivia answered. She knew Cragen was just being caring, but he was starting to ride her nerves. She just wanted Brian there with her, not her captain.

After Cragen left and the door shut behind her, Amanda took the opportunity to talk to Liv herself. "I know you're tired of getting asked the same question, but are you sure you're okay? I mean, really if you need anything, I'd be more than happy to get it for you."

"Well I've definitely been better. And I will be better when Brian gets here." Olivia confessed.

"I know you will be. I can't imagine you having to do this without him. I mean. I'm sure you won't have to, I'm sure Brian will be here soon. But any of this without him must be hard." Amanda rambled, feeling uncomfortable talking about it with Olivia.

"It's not easy. I mean, we all know what the job demands and we all know that when duty calls, you answer. I just wished he hadn't answered tonight. He offered to get someone to cover for him and I told him not to worry about, nothing was going to happen tonight, but here we are. I just wished I had told him I wanted him home with me." Olivia was surprised how easily she was able to share that with Amanda.

"You can't blame yourself for this. You can't blame either of you for it; you have to blame the job." Amanda understood how Brian must of felt torn about going to work or staying with his pregnant girlfriend and maybe he hadn't made the best decision, but he still wasn't at fault as far as Amanda was concerned.

While the girls conversed in Olivia's room, Cragen joined the men outside in the waiting room, taking a seat next Nick. "Have either of you heard anything?" Cragen was hopeful that one of the guys had heard from Brian.

As Nick opened his mouth to answer, though, a man came running through the waiting room, straight to the front desk. He was panting and asking for Olivia Benson's room number. The man was Brian.

Cragen quickly got up from his seat, going to where Brian was standing. "Brian."

He turned around, seeing Cragen standing behind him, and Nick and Fin sitting in the waiting room, as well.

"Where is she? Is she okay? I knew I shouldn't have gone to work. I should have stayed at home with her." Brian ranted to himself more than the others.

"Hey, look at me. Do not beat yourself up over this, okay? You don't need to be worrying about where you were right now. No, you shouldn't have left her at home alone, but you're here now and that's what matters to Liv. She's not mad, she just wants you in there with her okay. So don't go in there and apologize or make a big deal out of it, alright. Just go in there, give her a kiss, hold her hand, and rub her back, just be there for her." Cragen felt like he was talking to his own son about his daughter, which in some respects, those were kind of the roles they played with each other.

"Okay, okay." Brian was a little taken aback by Cragen's speech, but he knew he only said it because he cared about Liv. "Can you take me to her room?"

"Of course, let's go." Cragen led the way, Brian following closely behind, to Liv's room. He stopped just short of the door, though. "Now promise me, it's going to be all about Liv right now, okay."

"I promise, she's all that matters right now." Brian just wanted to see her.

Cragen continued and opened the door. "Look who I found." He said as he entered the room with Brian entering behind him.

"Brian!" Liv almost shouted. She had never been so excited to see anyone before. She knew he would never miss this.

"Oh, babe." Brian went to her side kissing her and grabbing her hand. "I'm right here, okay? We're going to have this baby together, okay?"

Olivia nodded slightly, squeezing his hand. "Okay."


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24 **

Since Brian had showed up, he and Olivia sent the rest of the team home. They didn't know how much longer it would be and it was already 1 am, so they told everyone to go home for now and they would keep them updated.

Another hour and a half after everyone had left; Dr. Matthews came in to check Olivia again. The doctor informed them that she was still only 3 1/2 centimeters dilated and no more effaced than she was earlier. This only annoyed Liv. She was starting to get the feeling that this whole labor thing was going to be taking a long time and she wasn't too happy about it. Brian, on the other hand, wasn't so much worried about how long it would take, but how Olivia was going to react.

Her contractions had sped up a little. They were coming every 7 to 8 minutes and were much stronger than when she had first arrived at the hospital. They were no longer just uncomfortable; they were pretty painful as well. And although Olivia had a high pain tolerance, it was obvious that no amount of pain tolerance would help her as they got stronger.

The nurse on call nurse, Audrey, was now in and out, more often than she had been before. She was constantly checking Liv's contractions, making sure she was seeing if they were increasing.

As another hour went by, Liv's contractions were starting to get the better of her as she lay in bed. The pressure on her back had only increased and she couldn't lie down any longer.

The nurse came in, noticing Olivia's discomfort. "Why don't we get you out of bed?" The nurse suggested.

Olivia in the middle of a contraction just nodded in agreement. She was all for getting out of her hospital bed.

"I think my best suggestion right now would be to walk. I know it sounds weird. But it will keep you from lying down and it can speed up labor." Audrey told her.

"Whatever might help." Olivia agreed.

Brian and Audrey helped her sit up and get off the bed. Brian came up on Olivia's right side and put his arm around her waist and supporting her back. The nurse opened the door for the, leading them out of the small room and into the open hallway of the maternity ward.

"My best suggestion is to keep a steady pace and try not to stop when you have contractions, try to walk through them. The movement should really help with the pain." Audrey explained to them.

"Great, thanks." Brian said in reply. Audrey just nodded and walked down the hall to another room.

At first it was hard for Olivia not to stop during contractions, but she soon realized her nurse had been right and walking through them really did help make the pain more manageable. It was also helpful that she was out of the hospital room. Liv didn't like the feeling of being confined in 4 walls. She much preferred to be able to take more control for herself by choosing how she handled her labor. Brian was all for getting out of the room, as well. He didn't like sitting in the same place, he was too anxious to stay still right now.

Liv walked for over an hour before Audrey came to grab them and take them back to her room, so Dr. Matthews could check Liv once more.

Brian and Audrey helped Liv get into bed, the one place Olivia would have preferred not to be.

Dr. Matthews came into the room, still wearing her scrubs, and took her place on the stool at the end of the bed. "Okay, Olivia I'll do this quickly so you can get back to walking." She gave a slight smile to her patient. Now, let's see. I'd say you're about 4 centimeters 60% effaced."

"That's still it?" Olivia was beginning to feel defeated. How could 6 hours of labor only have brought her to 4 centimeters?

Her thoughts however were interrupted by a strong contraction. She let out a gasp as it tore through her body, an immense pain soaring through her lower back. She tried to breathe through it, finding it difficult to maintain a steady combination of inhaling and exhaling. She reached for Brian's hand, squeezing it and gritting her teeth through the entire contraction. It slowly finished, the pain easing away.

However Liv's reaction to this contraction was much different than any she had before. Brian could tell something was off. Liv became wide eyed and pale. Dr. Matthews knew exactly what was coming though. She quickly ran to a cabinet in the room, retrieving a plastic container, and ran back to the side of Olivia's hospital bed as she leaned over the railing and threw up.

"That's good. Just let it all out." Dr. Matthews told Liv. The doctor was aware of the surprised reaction that came with the vomiting during labor. Most women were unaware of the side effect, but it was quite common.

"I'm sorry." Liv said quietly, embarrassed by her actions.

"Hey, no need to apologize. It's completely normal. You're better off letting it out than trying to keep it in." Dr. Matthews handed the container to the nurse for her to dump it out. "Now, Let's you help you out of bed. I think you'll much better if you are back on your feet." Dr. Matthews gave Liv a hand and helped her slide out of bed, onto her feet. Brian came quickly to her side and ushered her back out into the hallway.

They spent the next two hours pacing the hallways of the maternity ward. As the time passed, Liv's contractions started becoming stronger. There was still a solid 7 minutes between each one, but they were lasting close to a minute each and the pain was obviously intensifying. It was becoming harder for Olivia to walk through them and she found it much easier to stop with each one.

As it was her job, Audrey noticed the change in Olivia's comfort in walking and took the couple back into their room, to give them a new option for managing the pain that didn't involve Liv being bed.

Audrey helped Olivia position herself using Brian as a support. She had Olivia place her arms around Brian's neck, tilting forward just slightly, to help relieve the pressure on her back. She then had Brian place his hands on Olivia's hips and lower back, having him apply some pressure to his grip and move his hands in a circular motion as a way to massage Olivia's back. Audrey then had Olivia slowly shift her weight between her feet, swaying slightly. As the couple got into a rhythm, the nurse left them to it.

Olivia was very pleasantly surprised by how comfortable she was. It was much better than walking because it required less activity, but it kept her moving and that seemed to be the biggest help.

Brian was a fan as well because it helped his girlfriend get some pain relief and he could be involved. He felt much more at ease by being able to do something for Liv instead of just sitting and watching her work through the discomfort on her own.

They stayed that way for an hour, unitterupted by any nurses or doctors, just the two of them, all their focus on bringing their daughter into the world. It was like everything else stood still, nothing mattered but meeting their little girl.

They were eventually interrupted by Dr. Matthews who came by only to tell Liv she was still at 4 centimeters, which was beginning to concern her. The doctor was beginning to sense that Olivia may not be able to delivery regularly, but for now she was going to keep that to herself.

Olivia, however, was also starting to sense that this may not end up how she wanted it to. She had always been adamant that she was not going to have a Cesarean Section. She didn't care so much about the physical scars, but the additional recovery time and restrictions that would come with such a major surgery. But 9 hours of labor was proving to have very little effect on her body.

Liv pushed her thoughts to the back of her mind and refocused back on her contractions as she repositioned herself with Brian finding their previous rhythm. It was another hour like that before Olivia felt like she could no longer be on her feet, she was too tired and her legs were growing weaker with every new contraction that rippled through her body.

This meant it was time for Audrey to intervene once again. This time her suggestion was to put Liv on the large exercise ball, or as she referred to it as the birthing ball. She set the ball on the side of the bed, helping Liv to find a comfortable spot to sit on and had her lean over the bed, lying her head down. Audrey then put Brian back on massage duty, setting him in a chair behind Liv so that he could easily access her lower back.

Once again, Liv was surprised by what helped ease the pain. But it was still only easing it enough that her contractions were almost tolerable. They had seemed to speed up again, coming every 4 to 5 minutes, lasting a minute. They were increasingly painful, even for the women who had put her body through many an injury, the pain was almost too much to bear.

Over the next hour, Brian watched as Liv struggled through each of her contractions. She was sweating and out of breathe; the pain taking all her energy. She had been at it for 11 hours now and Brian was beginning to see the toll it was taking on her. Liv's exhaustion was becoming apparent to her boyfriend.

Because he couldn't help take any of the pain away, no matter how much he wanted to, Brian just tried to keep Olivia somewhat encouraged. "You're doing so great Liv." He continued to massage her back.

Her only response was groan as another contraction sped through her. She appreciated that Brian was trying to help, but she was in no mood to talk.

As another cringe worthy hour went by and Olivia was ready for everything to be done and over with. If her contractions got any worse, she was sure she would be screaming, something she had promised herself she would never do.

Brian was just as over the whole thing as Olivia was. He was done watching her push herself through the excruciating pain with no outcome.

Their similar thoughts, though, were interrupted by a sudden beeping from one of the machines Olivia was attached to. Neither Brian nor Olivia knew what was happening. They weren't sure from which machine the noise was coming, but they figured it must have been one of the heart monitors.

It wasn't until Dr. Matthews and Audrey came rushing into the room, though, that they both realized something was not right, that something was certainly wrong.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

Both Dr. Matthews and Audrey stared at one of the heart monitors for a moment before turning to Olivia and Bran.

Dr. Matthews walked over to Olivia where she was still sitting on the ball, breathing through another contraction. The doctor leaned down to squat next to Olivia so she would be at eye level with her patient. "Everything is okay, for right now, but I'm going to have to get you back in the bed. The baby's heart rate seems to be dropping during your contractions. Sometimes that can be because she's just not reacting well to them or sometimes we find that the way the mother is positioning herself is putting pressure on the baby or causing the baby to lay on the umbilical cord." Dr. Matthews explained to Liv.

Olivia just nodded. She didn't know what else to do or how to react. She figured as long as Dr. Matthews wasn't worried about anything be wrong right now, she wouldn't stress herself out worrying.

Brian and the doctor helped Olivia stand up, off the ball and get back onto the hated bed. Brian knew that if Olivia had to stay on her back in bed for any lengthy amount of time, his girlfriend would be one unhappy woman.

Dr. Matthews stayed in the room, until Olivia had another contraction to watch the heart monitor for the baby. It seemed to be a little steadier since Olivia had changed positions. But the doctor asked Audrey to stay in the room with Liv and watch the monitor. Before leaving though, Dr. Matthews checked Olivia once more. "Okay, so you're about 6 centimeters now, Olivia, and 75% effaced. So you have made some progress." The doctor took of her latex gloves and threw them in the trash can. What she didn't tell Olivia was that she wasn't making enough progress. A major reason the baby was reacting was the intensity of Olivia's contraction and her lack of progress. She was thinking it was looking like Olivia may end up having a C-section, but she'd seen women go from 6 to 10 centimeter in an hour's time, so she was going to give her a little more time and just see what happens.

As an excruciatingly long hour went by, Olivia was ready to give up. Her back felt like she was being stabbed over and over again and the contractions only got stronger as each one passed. The nurse had placed a cold compress on Olivia's forehead to keep her temperature at bay and it Liv did admit that it felt good.

Brian stood at her side through every round of pain that surged through Liv, allowing her to grip his hand as hard as she needed to. But he still felt so helpless. It had been 13 hours of contractions for Olivia and all he had been able to do for was massage her back and hold her hand. He wanted nothing more than to take the pain away from her, to ease it somehow, just to give her some kind of relief, but he couldn't. Instead he had to sit on the side-line and watch.

They gotten through another hour without the heart monitor beeping. Olivia was torn. She hated being in bed, absolutely despised it, but it was helping her daughter and helping her avoid a C-section. But when another contraction rippled through her, she was questioning whether it was really worth the immense pain she was in.

She also questioned whether it was worth it as the heart rate monitor started beeping once again. This time though, there were two monitors beeping simultaneously.

Audrey who hadn't left the room in the last hour, dashed out as quickly as she could, returning with Dr. Matthews.

This time, though, both Brian and Olivia were aware of the looks on both their faces. This time they couldn't hide the obvious. Something was wrong.

"Olivia, can you turn on your side for me?" Dr. Matthews asked. She was going to see if that would be a better position.

Olivia did just that, but after two contractions like that the beeping was still consistent.

"Alright, let's try the other side." Dr. Matthews helped Liv face away from her towards Brian.

Brian watched as Olivia had yet another contraction the beeping still persistent. He could see her biting her bottom lip, all she could do to suppress a scream. He could also see the tears forming in her eyes. He wasn't sure if it was from the pain or out of worry or both.

"Okay, Olivia, we're going to put you back on your back." Brian helped her flip back over.

"Audrey, can you grab the oxygen mask for me?" They both heard the doctor ask her attending nurse.

Audrey nodded, grabbed the necessary items, and handed just the mask to Dr. Matthews.

"So, Olivia it's not just the baby's heart rate that's dropping now, yours is too. I'm going to use the oxygen to see if we can't steady your heart rate." Dr. Matthews explained, knowing that Olivia needed to understand what was going on.

The oxygen mask was placed over Olivia's nose and mouth, meanwhile the doctor and nurse watched as she suffered through another 3 contractions, none of them showing any improvement as far as heart rate was concerned for baby or mother. Before talking to Olivia, Dr. Matthews left the room for a few minutes.

She returned to the room and grabbed the rolling stool placing it the side of Olivia's bed and sitting down. "Now I know your goal was to avoid having to go through a C-section and all that recovery, but right now both of you are not handling these contractions like you should be. The baby's heart rate is dropping slowly and not coming back up, the same goes for yours. You've been in labor a long time and your body can't handle it any longer. Right now, we need to perform a C-section and get that baby out, for your sake and hers."

Olivia nodded her head and moved the oxygen mask to answer. "Whatever you need to do." Olivia didn't care what happened at this point as long her daughter came into the world healthy.

"Great." Dr. Matthews knew Olivia understood she didn't have much of a choice. "So, I've got an operating room waiting for us. Audrey and I will take you down there, get you all prepped for surgery. While we do that, another nurse will take Brian to get washed up and scrubbed in and he'll meet us down there when you are all ready. Sound good?"

Liv didn't take the time to remove the oxygen mask, she just nodded in response. 

Before they took her out of the room, Brian gave her a small kiss on the forehead and looked her in the eyes. "Everything will be fine. We're finally going to meet our daughter."

And with that the doctor and nurse rolled Olivia out of her hospital room to the OR and another nurse came into to take Brian to get cleaned up and changed.

It was 20 minutes before the couple was reunited in the OR. Olivia was laid out, flat one her back, a curtain hanging at about her shoulders to shield her from seeing herself sliced open. Next to her, at the side of the bed was stool for Brian to sit on. Because Olivia's arms were free to move the first thing he did as he sat down was grab Liv's hand, squeezing it a way to show that he was there for her.

Dr. Matthews on the other side of the curtain was ready, scalpel in hand, to bring their daughter into the world. "You ready?" The doctor aimed the question at both Olivia and Brian.

Olivia was still wearing the oxygen mask as a precaution, so Brian answered for the both of them. "Let's do it."

"Okay, I'm going to make the first incision. You won't feel any pain, Olivia, just some pressure." Dr. Matthews made a clean first incision and got on with the surgery.

Olivia and Brian gripped each other's hands, both of them seemingly in their own world. Neither one could believe that within minutes they would have a daughter. 9 months of panic and happiness, 9 months of preparing and being ready for her arrival, 9 months of waiting and excitement. It was all going to be over in moments and as much as it scared both of them, they were more excited than anything.

"There's going to be a lot of pressure now Olivia, but we're almost done." Dr. Matthews had their daughters head in her own hands. She gently tugged the baby out of her mother's womb.

Olivia gripped Brian's hand as she felt the pressure Dr. Matthews had been talking about.

"There we go." They heard Dr. Matthews announce on the other side of the curtain. "It's definitely a little girl."

Dr. Matthews held the baby up just high enough for the new parents to see their daughter for the first time.

They started, in awe of this beautiful little girl they were seeing for the first time. They were both absolutely speechless, in shock that they were now officially parents to a little girl.

Dr. Matthews took the baby and gave her to Audrey to clean her off, weigh, measure, and swaddle her.

It was while Audrey cleaned the little girl off that she let out her first cry, a sound that filled the room. The most beautiful sound her parents had ever heard.

It was that sound that brought tears to Olivia's eyes, she couldn't hold them back any longer, every emotion she was feeling overwhelming her.

Brian held it together until the first time he met his little girl. Audrey brought the swaddled infant over to him and placed the little girl her daddy's arms. That was when he let the tears flow. He had never seen anything more beautiful than his daughter.

He held her down so her mommy could see her from the position she was laying in. The water works only increased for Olivia as she planted a small kiss the baby's cheek. On her daughter's cheek.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

After surgery, Liv had been taken to recovery for about an hour. She was in some pain and quite uncomfortable, but that was the farthest thing from her mind. All she cared about was seeing her daughter again.

Dr. Matthews came to check on Olivia in recovery and made sure everything was okay. She wanted to make sure Olivia hadn't reacted badly to the anesthesia and checked her incision. When she felt everything was fine, she had Olivia moved back to her room in the maternity ward.

Brian had gone to get himself of a cup of coffee, after the long night he needed the caffeine. He didn't want to miss a moment with his daughter because he was drowsy. When he had returned to recovery and seen Olivia had been moved, he headed back up to her room.

He walked in to find Olivia alone in her room. She had been drifting off when she heard the door open and opened her eyes as Brian walked in.

"Maybe you should try to get some rest?" Brian suggested.

"Not until I see my baby." Olivia refused to let the exhaustion take over until she saw her daughter, again.

A few more minutes of Olivia fighting sleep went by before Audrey came into the room, rolling in the clear, plastic basinet that held her baby girl. Olivia could hardly contain her excitement as she saw the infant again.

Audrey unwrapped the swaddled newborn. "With our new moms and babies, we like to start with skin to skin contact. So, if it's okay, I'm just going to lay her on your chest. The sound of the mother's heart beat is soothing and it creates a strong bond." The nurse explained. She moved Olivia's gown down slightly and picked up the baby out of her bassinet. She put the baby on Liv's chest and pulled her gown back over the two of them for some warmth. "And now I will leave you two to get acquainted with one and other."

Olivia didn't even answer the nurse; she hadn't even heard the nurse speaking to her. As soon as her daughter had been placed on her bare chest, nothing else mattered to the new mommy. It was liked the world around her had stopped, everyone and everything had disappeared and all that remained were herself and her daughter.

The little girl had weighed in at 8 pounds 4 ounces and she was 22 inches long. She had all ten fingers and toes.

Olivia removed her hat, to reveal a head of dark brown hair. She ran her hand over the soft brown locks, staring at the alert little girl lying against her, taking in all her little features. She had soft, chocolate colored brown eyes that resembled her mothers, a cute button nose and full pink lips. She was absolutely adorable.

While mother and daughter bonded, Brian took his phone out and snapped a few candid photos of the pair. It was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen, the two loves of his life meeting for the first time.

Olivia moved her gaze for the first time from her baby to Brian. They just smiled at each other, both of them sharing a feeling of pure joy.

"She so perfect, Liv." Brian ran a finger over the baby's cheek, her soft skin warm to the touch.

"She is the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on." Olivia told Brian. "And I already love her so much."

"I love both of you so much." Brian kissed the baby on the top of her head, and then kissed her mommy.

"Bri, there's an extra blanket in my hospital bag, could you get it for me and lay it over her? I don't want her getting too cold." Olivia's maternal instincts were already on high alert.

"Sure." Brian grabbed the hospital bag sitting in the corner of the room. He pulled out the blanket and put the bag back in its spot. "Here we go." He laid the pink and white chevron patterned blanket over the baby.

Brian pulled the chair sitting in the far corner of the room up to the side of Liv's bed and sat down. He took a few more pictures of his daughter and put his phone away. He began to run his fingers through her soft tresses. Olivia cupped her hand around the baby's back.

They stayed like that, silent and content, for half an hour. No words needed to be exchanged, nobody needed to move, everything was perfect just the way it was.

"Penelope." Brian suddenly broke the silence with those 4 syllables.

"Huh?" Olivia was confused.

He nodded towards his now sleeping daughter. "Penelope."

"Really?" Olivia was surprised by Brian's offer.

"Yeah. I know how much you like the name and I think she looks like a Penelope, it suits her." Brian had watched Olivia go through 13 hours of labor and major surgery to bring their daughter into the world, he felt she deserved to be able to choose her name.

"It's perfect." A smile formed across Olivia's face. "Hi, Penelope." She stroked the sleeping baby's cheek, the tears welling up in her eyes once again.

"Now what are we going to do for a middle name?" Brian asked.

Olivia sniffled a little. "Well I know you really like Harper and I think it fits really well with Penelope." Olivia suggested.

"I must say, that sounds pretty good to me." Brian agreed.

It was so surreal for both of them to think that they were parents. They had a daughter. A daughter names Penelope.

For it Olivia it meant the world. She never thought she would have the opportunity to experience motherhood. But here she was holding her newborn daughter she had just named, looking forward to the rest of the little girl's life. Everything from her first steps to her first words to her first day of school and so many more milestones she and Brian would get to be a part of.

"Have you let anyone know yet?" Olivia asked Brian.

"No not yet, I wanted to wait until you got to see her and we named her." Brian told her.

"Can you get a few pictures on my phone and send them to the squad. I'm sure they're all waiting to hear from us." Olivia was so excited to share her beautiful little girl with the team.

Brian grabbed Olivia's iPhone out of her overnight bag. He took a few pictures of his daughter and tried to take a picture of Olivia and the little girl together.

"Hey, no photo ops right now. I look like a hot mess." Olivia couldn't even imagine what she looked like after being awake for nearly 36 straight hours.

"You look absolutely gorgeous." Brian thought his girlfriend was glowing, radiating with pure love for her daughter.

"Ha! Nice try. Stick to sending pictures of the baby for now." Olivia smirked at Brian.

Brian snapped a few more pictures of his daughter. He started a group message that included Fin, Amanda, Nick, and Cragen. He chose the picture he like the best and sent it to them with a message that read:

_Penelope Harper_

_Born May 21__st_

_8 pounds 4 ounces _

_22 inches long_

"There we go. I sent the picture to the team." Brian placed the phone back in the bag and took his seat by the bed.

"Penelope Harper Cassidy." Olivia said her daughter's full name just so she could hear it out loud. It was just as perfect as her little girl.


End file.
